A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend (now ex) is bipolar. I have been with him for more then a year now and I do love him, but also know it's past time to throw in the towel. So I just want to make it clear that this is not a question of if I should get back with him. I can't and I won't. He has put me through hell. One of his ex girlfriends started calling me last night. This is a woman that he has left me for in the past and she completely wrecked his life. She is an alcoholic and she got him and his kids kicked out of his home. When they broke up I did give him a second chance, but he knew I would not accept him contacting her at all. He even changed his number so she could not contact him. Anyway, we had our ups and downs over the past several months but was trying to work through them. I felt like he did truly love me for the most part, but about two weeks ago he started acting really strange and secretive. I knew something was up. When his ex girlfriend called me the first time, she was really nice and said she had not been with him, but she was talking to him on the phone. Of course this passed me off because she shouldn't have even had his number. I sent him a text asking how he could do this to me after I had been so good to him and his kids. I took them in when they were homeless because of her and I even helped him to get a new place to live. Well she answers my text from his phone because she was over his house. She was drunk and sent me a picture of the two of them together. She became very belligerent with me and said that he was seeing her the whole time he was seeing me. I told her she could have him, but she wouldn't stop with the text. Eventually he joins in. He started sending me pictures of him kissing her and saying that he always loved her and he never loved me. He said a lot of truly nasty and hurtful things to me. It's not as if he has never gotten nasty with me before, but he was attacking me as If I was his worst enemy and I have never done anything wrong to him. I have helped him and been there for him more then anyone in his life. I guess all I want to know now is did he really mean these things or is he just having some sort of an episode. I would like to hear from somebody who is bipolar or deals with bipolar people so I can get some insight. I am not trying to find a reason to justify getting back with him because I will never go back. I just want to know if this is all due to him being bipolar or if I really am just stupid enough to not see that he was just using me all along.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2017): Thank you for your answers. I don't believe he has been seeing her the whole time, but I he has been in contact with her the whole time or else she wouldn't have even had his number let alone his new address. I think he started seeing her again about the same time I noticed the changes in him. I don't believe the other night was the only time he saw her. I think she even stayed at his house a few times cause on some days he would text me but he wouldn't answer his phone and he didn't want me over his house. He has recently been under a lot of pressure and I was part of it. I was pushing for more time and commitment then he was giving me. He can't handle any kind of pressure. He snaps. I know this won't change without him taking his meds properly and getting therapy, but he won't. He is already regretting what he has done, but i know it will always be this way with him and I'm not willing to keep trying to help somebody who won't help themselves. I'm just done nearing with it. The answers were helpful.
A
female
reader, Campari Milano  +, writes (6 March 2017):
First of all, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. However, you are absolutely right. There is no happy ending. This relationship is over!!!It has to be, for your sake.I have experience with mental health issues.This doesn't sound like a bipolar episode to me. The thing is, most people with mental health conditions don't feel like they deserve love. All the love and support you have given him is wonderful, but now your relationship is over, he might want to make you hate him. He may be hoping that makes it easier for both of you.Or he may just be playing on the bipolar, and is actually a c**t!I don't know him so I can't tell!From your message it sounds like you have done all you can.Dwelling on it will not do either of you any favours.NEXT CHAPTER! XXX
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 March 2017):
 Why? Because he is an arsehole. Pure and simple. I think it would be such a "cliche" to blame his actions on "bipolar". Even bipolar people can make choices. Some are more impulsive, but this? I wouldn't accept it as "it's the bipolar speaking"...
BLOCK him. Or even better... get a new phone number.
Here is the thing that you need to accept. NO matter HOW much you help someone, how GOOD you are to them, how much you CARE - there are no guarantees that they will actually BE grateful.
Does it make you STUPID for not knowing he was two timing you with a psychotic alcoholic? Not at all. To tell the truth, I don't think he really was. Since you only really saw big changes 2 weeks ago. But this woman WANTS to hurt you. He (and this might be the bipolar talking) wants to please her and make her happy so he jumped in with both feet in bullying and harassing you.
OP, at least you got to see the REAL him. And this is him. Now he might have been a good guy from time to time but this abusive behavior is also who he is. If he ALSO is not on any kind of meds and therapy I can easily see why he would take her back.
I just really feel sorry for his kids.
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (6 March 2017):
If he has been two -timing you and being honest I think he has .. so sorry sweetie then I think this was a kinda rub you're face in it moment .. I seriously as a mental health nurse see this as anything to do with bipolar ..
She wanted you to know and then he let her answer on his phone; he even took up the conversation . If you are truly over him .. and by your post I don't think you are and hey that's okay .. love isn't a tap that we can turn off and on . We can only put turn it down till it trickles and then fades and this will too . But because of the pull I think he has over you .. you need to stop all contact ..
Don't use bipolar as an excuse for some piece of poop ( I know he's your poop so I'm sorry for saying that ) who basically used you .. this ex and him have history and they share the same addiction alcohol so leave them to it .. that's what I say ..
Focus on yourself .. it's not your fault that you you seem a bright helpful kind and loving person .. I think your nature was taken advantage of sweetie .
Get out and about .. getting a new hobbie . See friends .. family . But please let him go as you said as he will only bring more heartbreak ansn your worth more than that
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