A
female
age
26-29,
*ulilove
writes:Im 15 and Im in ninth grade. Half of the kids in my grade had already lost their virginity (Im not one of them of course), and 3 of my 5 best friends have a boyfriend. Ive never had a boyfriend in my life, never been kissed etc. Im not a lesbian,or a bisexual. I am very straight. Anyways, I dont think Im ugly, but due to these facts it has made me feel ugly, stupid, fat, and socially awkward. Its made me feel depressed. And besides, all my friends talk about those guys: their boyfriends, and it makes me feel like an outsider. Is there something wrong with me that I can change? because it seems that being myself wont help here.
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best friend, depressed, lesbian, never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Julilove +, writes (30 October 2011):
Julilove is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankyou. awesome answers! very helpful :D
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011): Absolutely not! There is nothing wrong with you. A lot of people your age see relationships, and sex unfortunately, as a status symbol. Thus many do it just for the sake of having done it, or to become popular. This is the worst way to go about dating and intimate relationships. When you have a relationship and when you have sex are different for everyone. But it should be on YOUR terms. You will have a relationship when you are ready for it, and when you meet someone who is right for you. The same applies to sex as well, it will happen when you are ready. Do not force it before, most people who do regret it immensely. Besides, 15 is extremely young to be having sex.As an example i did not have my first relationship until I was 18 and out of school, and first had sex at 20. Couldn't be happier.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (26 October 2011):
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. MOST of the people in your grade are probably lying or exaggerating their experience, because they want to fit in with everyone else. The truth is, most people are probably feeling the same way as you. However if you really feel excluded from your friendship group, are there any other people in your classes that you could get to know and see if you can make better friendships?
Don't for a moment feel depressed about what is going on. You are entirely normal and the whole boyfriends and sex thing will come later on in your life when it feels right and normal.
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A
male
reader, Doobie  +, writes (26 October 2011):
Really? Society is definitely worse than I thought.
Look, I'm 21 and a virgin. I wanted to wait until I was 18 to even consider sex. Not because of my religion (or lack thereof) and not due to pressures from any outside source.
Here's what you should ask yourself: does it even matter to you personally if you're having sex? Does it matter to you that you're single or inexperienced? Don't ask if it makes you weird. It's YOUR choice. It's YOUR life and frankly there isn't any checklist to life.
Just carry on with your life and if you come across someone you feel is worth your time, take action. If it leads to sex, so be it. Just don't treat it as a task to be accomplished in order to feel "normal" because it would be pathetic and possibly disastrous.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011): There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! You just haven't met someone you've clicked with yet, it will happen!
some of my friends weren't kissed for the first time until they were 16, so don't be concerned about it, itll happen when the times right.
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A
female
reader, Batterytea  +, writes (26 October 2011):
 DO NOT FEEL THAT WAY.
Seriously. I actually know that feeling, I'm 15 in 10th grade (will be 16 in November) and I've only had one boyfriend before and that was for a month in 8th grade. Lots of people in my grade are dating and at first I was like you and wondered if there was something particularly unattractive about me. BUT THEN I FIGURED IT OUT.
It's not that you're unattractive. It's that you're not anyone's type. I have a friend the same age that's never had a boyfriend or been kissed, just like you, but she's okay with it. She knows that it's not her time to get a boyfriend.
And to be honest, anyone dating at this age is dating too early, and DEFINITELY too young to be having sex. Be smart and be patient.
When I dated that guy in 8th grade I regret it so much now. It's not fun like it seems. The breaking up part hurt so much I fell into a depression and I cut myself and contemplated suicide. It took years to finally come out of that depression and even now I haven't fully moved on. It's really not worth it at this age to feel that way.
Don't learn the hard way.
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (26 October 2011):
 Nah, there's nothing wrong with you. The people who have sex at 15 usually end up unhappy, or feel they need to have sex in order to fit in.
You are beautiful in your own way (Everyone has their own beuty, be it their hair, eyes, face, hands, etc) and trust me, sex isn't even worth it at that age. And if your future husband didn't get to be your first, I'm sure he'd be dissapointed.
Please dont feel depressed or anything, and you know what? I didn't even have my first boyfriend till I was 17. I felt depressed and ugly, but I realized after a while that I needed to be confident, and shortly after becoming confident, I found the guy of my dreams, and he says he plans on marrying me after we finish school. He also says he's glad I'm a virgin. Wedding night sex is special, and if you already have had sex, it wont be special anymore.
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