| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My brother has been an unstable diabetic since he was 8. Ten years later and things are just getting worse. The chances are he's not going to live to see his 30's, because his organs won't be able to cope and will just stop working. I know he can help himself and live longer if he starts looking after himself, and stops smoking, drinking and taking drugs. However, he's pretty much given up on himself. He says he's just going to live life to the full because he doesn't have much time. I don't know how to help him. It's his life, but i don't feel i can sit back and watch while he slowly kills himself. Should i try to convince him to get his act together or should i keep my nose out, and if i do help him then how can i get through to him. please help, i'm scared of losing him.
View related questions:
drugs Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (14 April 2006):
 I know this will sound harsh, but there is nothing you can do to help your brother at this time, so you need to quit harrassing him. By trying to help him, nagging him about his behaviour and trying to make him see what harm he is doing to himself you are in fact reinforcing the fact he is sick sick sick. This in turn will SCARE him and that will lead to further self destructive behaviour. How would you feel if you were told you had a life threatening illness and how would you feel if people threw it in your face day after day? told you you were gonna die if you didnt moderate your behaviour. As much as you would like to think it you would probably react in much the same way.
All you can do is tell him ONCE how you feel and then leave him to grow out of this self-damaging behaviour. Be there for when he grows up and gets pat this which he should do in time. Tell him you love him and will be there for him when he needs you and then let him live his life his way.
xx
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (14 April 2006):
 Hi,
you good brave girl!
Do all that you can, put a pinpirck in his ciggies, then all he breathes in is air! Tell him that you're scared and worried! Does your Mum/Dad know he's killing himself? Tell someone. Don't sit there and watch your brother die. you'll only feel guilt if something happens to him. You'll get that "I could have done more" feeling and you'll just beat yourself up about it. DO ALL THAT YOU CAN and I admire you.
Forever Respectful,
Phoebe
xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Italie +, writes (13 April 2006):
 I think you need to try to help him because you would never forgive yourself if you didnt. I think you really have your work cut out though and should be prepared for a lot of hostility from your brother but you should persevere. I dont know if you are in the UK but your brother should have a diabetic clinic at his local hospital (does he attend for 6 month check-ups?) so if you call them they will be able to give you advice and tell you about any local support groups that you can either go alone to or with your brother if he will come. They will also take a more supportive part in your brothers treatment if they are aware he is having problems dealing with it - he is probably telling them everything is ok.I have been diabetic for 10 years since I was 19 and the future scares me because I have a son and want to live as long and as healthy as possible but we all look at life differently and your brother is actually acting very typically. My father was diagnosed with a heart condition when he was 20ish and went completely off the rails because he though he was going to die before he was 25 anyway so what difference did it make - he may aswell enjoy himself. 40 years later he is still here and regrets putting himself at risk like that. He was given lots of advice from various people at the time but didnt heed any of it - he just had to grow up himself.You are not the first person who has had to deal with this type of situation and finding out how others coped with it should help and possibly even give you ideas on how to help your brother.Good luck xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (13 April 2006):
 You love your brother and the fact that he is still so young seems to be a complete waste of a young life.
Seeing and understanding the pain you are going through would be a way that you may get through to your brother. I think if you could get him into some sort of counselling with you then he might try and understand your pain and concerns for him.
You would not be much of a sister if you just sat back and did nothing so if it was me with a brother or sister I would definitely be putting my nose in but keep it in a constructive way as I think if he sees it as constant nagging from you he will continue to go in the opposite direction.
Perhaps do some investigating on the net on the effects on diabetics with everything he is doing and get more informed. Consult with your doctor and perhaps contact a diabetic society to see if they can help you in any way with sound advice and any counselling services which cater specifically for diabetics and definitely young diabetics.
Your brother's life is not over and if he can see that he still has time to turn his life around in a positive way and with a sister like you he will be proud and glad you stuck your nose in.
Good luck.
...............................
|
