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female
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anonymous
writes: hi i just want to ask this .i have two kids first is five amd the younger one is nearly two .But i still yearn to have another .i am married ,and right now im just on top of things even cxosidering going back to work in a year.My husband definately does not want any more.what is my problem so that i do .i still think i want another girl because i had a boy last am i being totally selfish here? I am 27 thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2006): Hi, I also am going through the same thing, I want one more (we have two boys) but dh 100% doesn't. Someone once said to me (when I told them there was no compromise on this) that there is a compromise and for the sake of the child it is to compromise on the least number of children. I am coming to terms with accepting his wishes, especially as he told me 100% before we had two that he only wanted one but would compromise on two, but it is very very hard and breaks my heart :(
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (13 April 2006):
 You have plenty of time to have more children, maybe your husband will change his mind oneday.
I agree with Irish here though it should be a joint decision. Your not being selfish in wanting more children, you would be if you got pregnant deliberatly knowing your husband definately doesn't want anymore children at the moment though. That could put a real strain on your marriage.
Only time will tell.In the meantime be thankfull for the children you have, and live in hope your husband will change his mind.
Good luck.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2006): I wouldn't say you are selfish...just being a bit unthinking as far as your husband's feelings are concerned. Whether or not to bear more children in a marriage, is a COUPLE decision not the overruling choice of one of the partners/spouses. He is the other half of this marriage and you need to consider and respect his feelings as well. This is not a decision you can and should make on your own. Marriage is two lives intertwined-you cannot just go ahead and get pregnant and hope he'll be okay with that. You both need to find a way to the same page on this decision before any new babies come into the home. My advice is for you both to sit down and voice your individual reservations and concerns about this issue. Ask him to really listen. Then you give him the same respect and listen to him. If you can't change his mind...you may just have find contentment raising the two, healthy lovely children you have already. Just don't turn this into a power struggle, hun between you both..you BOTH have to agree..this is a monumental decision and respect for each other's thoughts and feelings is crucial. Good luck
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