A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Not technically a relationship question...but advice would be appreciatied as I just don't know what to do.My little brother, 14, is addicted to graffiti. Completely addicted- to the point he can't last a day without going out and tagging, even though he has been arrested and is on bail at the moment awaiting a court appearance! After he was arrested and the police came and raided our house, he lasted 3 days only before he was back out again.I know its an addiction because he acts so irrationally if he can't get his fix. If my dad tells him he can't go out, he will go anyway regardless of the consequences, and if my dad physically stops him (which is not easy) he will have a fit, screaming and cursing and kicking anything and everyone. He also talks and treats everyone (me esspecially) like they are absolute scum.This has been going on for a few years, and I know we have let it go too far. I'm afraid there is no way back now. He can't see his problem, so talking to him is useless (believe me, we've all tried, over and over). He is so delusional that he even refuses to accept that he has been arrested!! How can someone who won't listen to any sort of reason be helped?I can't stress enough the effect this is having on the immediate family. He is so spiteful and abusive to us that he has made me hate him. And I hate myself for hating him, because I know deep down he has a problem and its not his fault. But he shows NO compassion, not one tiny suggestion that he has ever felt guilty or otherwise emotionally responsible about putting my dad and me in hospital (in a rage one day), or making my mum ill with stress to the point she can't eat.We've tried the authorities: the police won't help us, social services have given up on us, and the mental health people talked to us for half an hour before telling us that he does not have a problem.I am literally at my wits end. I don't know how much more I can take. Should my parents chuck him out of the house?What can be done??????Thank you for your time Reply to this Question
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male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (12 January 2008):
 Drawing can be a way to vent out frustration and anger, could that be it?
On the up side, it's probably a phase.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): Its time for some alternative methods.
The first thing you all need to do is not make a threat if you are unwilling to see it through.
Second. Try turning this negative into a positive. Every tried getting him into GRAFFITI ART?
So instead of just going and tagging a blank and useless way... he can tage a mural he has just created to show it was him who did it.
Graffiti gets a bad rap but there are some trully amazing pieces of work out there and if he is so intent in putting painto to any surface then give him a legitimate surface to do it upon.
This may not work, and if it doesn't it will be time to show him who's boss. Nailing his windows shut and barring them. Locking the outside of his bedroom dor and making sure that there is no way he can get out even if he wants to when he's locked it.
I'd try the art thing first.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 January 2008):
 I am very sorry about your brother.He is on a self destruct mode .He is falling and descending into a bottomless hole. You are at your wits end and the authorities cannot help you .All you can do now is to pray for him to change.
This is the age when boys can be very naughty and rebellious .You can only hope that he will grow quickly out of his rebellious ways.
There is nothing you can do or stop him.Sooner or later he will commit bigger and bigger offenses and will run foul of the law . A stint in those institutions may be the way for him to realize his follies.I hope it won't come to that.
You will simply allow him to hit the lowest in his life before he can make a U turn .You cannot chain or lock him up in the house. It would be child abuse. Your hands are tight .
My only advise to to be more understanding, not to be confrontational with him and more patient.My empathy's to you and your family.
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A
female
reader, worn the tshirt +, writes (11 January 2008):
 seems your brother has little respect not only for his family but the law,tell him that his grafitti may be an art to him but its actualy criminal damage and people who have disregards to not giving a dam what an eyesore they create will soon find themselves putting their mark on a piece of paper agreeing to prison rules,will he be so eager then to do a bit of grafitti?
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