A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok my brother and his girl just had a baby and i love her dearly and i want one but you see im only 13 and they live far away so i dont get to see her that much and i really want one what should i do Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): your 13 and if u do get a baby ur going to regret it soo much
i mean my friend got a baby at age 13 wit a 26 year old
and the girl doesnt go anywhere out at all she stays home
and ur soon going to be in high school theres going to be guys,and parties and no guy wants a 13 year old girlfriend wit a baby that isnt theres and u will regret it my other
friend had a baby at 14 and she was soo happy in the begining but now she is really stressed out at age sixteen shes planning to drop out of school at age 16 cuz she just cant take it shes faailing classes and missing out on high school
A
male
reader, DuncanGreen +, writes (1 July 2008):
 I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother (btw I'm single). Therefore, I think that if you want a baby, you should have a baby... but just wait another ten years.
You'll have to settle for a puppy for now. But be not worried, puppies are great! If you get a toy dog, it'll never grow big and rebellious, and they require less maintenance than babies.
Seriously though, get a puppy or a kitten, you'll love it.
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A
male
reader, no_issues +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Having a baby is very, very easy for teenage females. You probably don't even need to ask how to do it. There are whole nations of teenage males willing to help you with the part that requires them.
The one drawback is that society takes a very dim view of your wanting to give your baby back when you're through with it. And society is much much bigger than you. So the best bet is to stick with other people's babies for the time being.
If at all possible, though, try to limit yourself to just borrowing them for short periods at a time and only by prior arrangement. Most people take a dim view of having their baby out on indefinite, unannounced loan.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Having a baby is a great life event...I have a six month old son. However, it is best done when you are in a position to emotionally and financially invest in the child. I am in my 30's with a house, a career to fall back on and a husband paying the bills while I bring up junior. Our son is brilliant, funny and cute as anything...but also exhausting, frustrating and very demanding on our time and money. By all means aspire to have children when you are older but wait until you are able to offer your children a good life and have a bit of life experience yourself to share with them.
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Given your age, it's understandable why you feel the way you do. But you must remember that you are not the one that has to look after the baby every hour of every day. You're just the young aunt. All you have to do is hold and play with it for as long as you please before giving it back to its parents. Being the parent is a completely different kettle of fish, and I'm afraid that you are not old nor mature enough to be a mother yet.
Please don't feel like I'm patronizing you, but you are much too young to become a mother. You have too much to live for now. Having a child means that you have to give up your teenage years, and coming from someone who has lived a teenage life, it isn't something you should give up. Socializing, going out at your own will, few responsibilities - Enjoy it while you can. Being a teenager is hard enough for some, what with all the changes you go through. Being a teenage mum would be much, much harder.
What you're feeling is normal I would say, but I advise you to be a teenager while you can. You have plenty of time for motherhood, little time to enjoy being young. Talk to your parents about how you feel, and I'm sure they will shed some light on the subject.
Enjoy your youth!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): Ask your mum to lend you some money and buy one in the shops..... LOL
Seriously, have a word with your mum and tell her how you feel.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 June 2008):
Aww I bet it looks adorable and you can hold it and feel it breathing next to you... a little life.
Now imaging it screaming none stop for 4 hours at 3 am and how useless you feel as a mother because you can't get it to settle.
You have kids one day but seriously, for now just enjoy the face that you have a figure, tight skin, the ability to hold in your pee, and the chance to do what you want without days of planning.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Its normal to feel like this at your age, your hormones are going crazy right now as you are hitting puberty and all you see is this cute little 'doll' that your brother and his girlfriend have and I can understand what you are going though.
The reality however is that babies are bloody hard work, sleepless nights, crying all the time, constant demands for your attention. And babies grow up, then they start crawling and toddling and you cant take your eyes off them for a second, then the terrible two's start with temper tantrums etc etc. You are stuck in the house, have no time to yourself let alone clean the house and get yourself looking decent til 12 oclock somedays. Need I go on!!!
I should get my daughter to talk to you, she left home last year at 15 as she couldnt take the hassle that my 'baby' brings to the household which was causing arguments between us. He's 3 and a half now and she swears she is never having kids, she better I want to be a grandma one day. She only moved back home last week after her last exam.
If I were you I would find a woman locally with a couple of babies or kiddies and offer to look after them for a few days a week over the summer holiday, all day long. See how you feel then. Babies and children are hard enough at any age with a loving partner but on your own at a very young age would be extremely hard work. Yes they can be rewarding and loving too but trust me you are too young. You have your whole life ahead of you and you need to live it first, then find a nice boyfriend and wait and see what the future holds. Enjoy being an auntie and please wait for motherhood x
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (30 June 2008):
Its normal to feel like this at your age, your hormones are going crazy right now as you are hitting puberty and all you see is this cute little 'doll' that your brother and his girlfriend have and I can understand what you are going though.
The reality however is that babies are bloody hard work, sleepless nights, crying all the time, constant demands for your attention. And babies grow up, then they start crawling and toddling and you cant take your eyes off them for a second, then the terrible two's start with temper tantrums etc etc. You are stuck in the house, have no time to yourself let alone clean the house and get yourself looking decent til 12 oclock somedays. Need I go on!!!
I should get my daughter to talk to you, she left home last year at 15 as she couldnt take the hassle that my 'baby' brings to the household which was causing arguments between us. He's 3 and a half now and she swears she is never having kids, she better I want to be a grandma one day. She only moved back home last week after her last exam.
If I were you I would find a woman locally with a couple of babies or kiddies and offer to look after them for a few days a week over the summer holiday, all day long. See how you feel then. Babies and children are hard enough at any age with a loving partner but on your own at a very young age would be extremely hard work. Yes they can be rewarding and loving too but trust me you are too young. You have your whole life ahead of you and you need to live it first, then find a nice boyfriend and wait and see what the future holds. Enjoy being an auntie and please wait for motherhood x
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A
female
reader, dangerouslove. +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Girl, are you serious!? You are just young yourself.
I really do not believe you are responsible enough to take care of a baby. What about all the expenses of a baby, diapers and food, and all the rest. Are you going to be able to wake up in all hours of the night when your baby is crying? What about school? Daycare for your child? Let's say you do get pregnant, do you think the father of your child, will stick around long enough to help you out? probably not. I am glad you are excited for a child, I am only fifteen myself, and I want a baby too, but I know I can wait until I am old enough and mature enough to take care of one. Pregnancy is not fun, and neither are pregnancy scares. I think you should wait until your older, there is no reason to rush it, you have lots of time!
Best of luck..
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A
female
reader, accused +, writes (30 June 2008):
 I think you should sit down and understand the hard work it takes to raise a child, the money needed to provide for it. It seems to me that you are looking for something to fill a lonely space in your life, my advice would be to find a hobby or something else besides wanting to bring a child in this world, you are not ready to support. Have you even thought about how you would take care of this child? while your at school. you are only 13yrs old, what about the rest of your life? I think that you should talk to someone that you truly trust and seek fullfillment somewhere else besides a child.... Best of luck
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