A
male
age
36-40,
*][KE
writes:Hey, thanks to anyone who reads this.I broke up with my ex-girlfriend about 4-5 months ago now and it's been a slow process moving on. I've had other girlfriends before her, but she was what I consider my first love.Although I think about her less frequently these days through day-to-day, I quite regularly dream about her, which infuriates me. I seem to have very little interest in meeting new women at the moment and my confidence is scraping rock bottom.I know it's in the past and there's no point going back there. But I feel like my brain is hanging on. I know this isn't the worst problem in the world, but some advice would really help me out. How can I get past her?Thanks for reading, kind regards.
View related questions:
broke up, confidence, ex girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): I have been in a similar situation and cannot let go of the past. I have found that connecting the thought of the person with a negative emotion can help break the cycle. For example when you think of her name instantly bring to mind something she did which you didn't like so that that thought is synonomous with her name. It does work and it does put you off mulling over the same old ground over and over again.It may not be time for you to be able to move on yet, everyone is different and you shouldn't worry about that. These things are all time based and differ for everyone. I too dream about my ex regularly and role play out different situations. I think although this is annoying it is quite a healthy way to deal with things. The more time goes on the more these dreams will fade, they have for me so you will soon get them less often. I think it is the mind healing itself. Don't worry about any of this unnecessarily over the next few months it will pass and she will become a distant memory.
A
female
reader, shiraz +, writes (19 October 2008):
hiyah, she was your first everything and all the emotions came with it all at once so when it stops and breaks up life doesnt feel the same and sometimes you want to let go so badly that you cant. you need to break this cycle and find a way of moving on before it starts to change you as a person and affect your future relationships, not all are the same and there is life after. youve dwelled on it for a few months now so your at the right time to pick youself up and get back out there and enjoy your new single free life with options you can choose yourself. You cant help your dreams thats out of your hands but given time they will become less frequent and you will notice a change inyourself once you pass this hurdle that is taking you so long to jump, just remember one big leap and your over the other side! Your feelings for her were deep so they wont just dissapear prepare yourself for this, and think of ways you can stop it occuring and affecting you move on. Build up your confidence back up before you throw yourself into the singledom life, become a better person on the inside more stable and strong and it will show on the outside. Hope all works out best of luck :) x
...............................
|
