A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im so worried My Boy Friends Gay,Im his first GirlFriend and he always used to get teased and called gay, and resently he told me hes not so sure him self!I dont know what to do! he says he loves me, but if he was gay i dont know how id cope with losing him!is there any way to make him straight!?!i think the best idea is to surport him even if he does deside he likes guys.....but..please tell me what to do! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, love-him  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 HEY !!
You can't make him straight.. If he is gay and not BISEXUAL then there is no future in your relationship, but that doesn't mean you can't stay good friends and support him with coming out ?? GOOD LUCK !! Feel free to mail me at any time x x x
A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (15 April 2008):
 Well hunny I can tell you this: If he even thinks he might be gay, then he probably IS gay! Straight guys are very solid when they say they dont like guys period. I even mention to my boyfriend if he thinks a guy is cute and he looks at me like he cant even conceive of a guy, any guy, being cute! But thats the way it is with guys...if they're straight, theres no confusion about it. If they are gay, there is comfusion, even if they wont admit it. Its the confusion that makes them gay!
I know a lot of guy can be Bi, but in my experience a guy who claims to be Bi is pretty much gay, and should just stick with guys anyway. (personally, the sex I had with bi guy was a stange unfun experience without getting into details..could it be that he was thinking about other guys while he was fucking me? hmmmm...)
But here it is...your guy seems to be Gay and ready to come out any minute now. You should consider moving away from the relationship and probably just keeping it platonic, if not breaking up.
Why dont you do this for kicks..go with him to a Gay bar...meet other guys with him and have them talk to him. he might like the experience and dive in head first...lol. You might think you dont want to do this becuse it would be pushing him in the wrong direction...but the only way to know for sure is to take him deep into that environment. Push him and see how he responds.
TO answer your last question there is NO way you can make him straight! If he gay he is gay!
...............................
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (15 April 2008):
 No you cannot "turn him straight". Think about it this way, could someone turn you gay? Could you just start to have sexual feelings for females? Most likely your answer is no. I don't know what other people believe and I'm not here to call anyone stupid, but you do not choose to be gay. Nor do you turn gay because you are too ugly for the oppposite sex or have had bad relationships in the past (yes I'm serious, people have said this before). If he is unsure, I hate to say for you he could possibly be gay. Once again this is my OPINION, if someone else differs from it, thats fine. I don't want a bunch of hate mail or posts because they believe differently. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. Anyway, you should probably take a break. Let him figure out what he really wants. Be very supportive. Do you really want to be with someone who is unsure of his sexual preference? And just being teased would not make him unsure, he must have feelings for the same sex to be confused over it. Having kids call me a lesbian 100 times would not make me one. I'm sorry because all of this must be very depressing. I don't see what staying with him would do, he would still be confused and you would be unsure as well. Let him find out, take time to really get inside himself. It's the best advice I can give. Good luck sincerely.
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 Hi there,
Sorry but there is no way to make a guy straight if he is gay. Despite what various religious organisations may claim.
It sounds like you two just have a very close friendship. If both of you accept that he is gay then there is no reason you cannot maintain that close personal bond. Gay guys usually have plenty of female friends, I dont see why this cannot work for you. It's better than staying together getting married in the future and then having the big bombshell dropped on you in the coming years when his sexuality needs an outlet.
So you two guys can have a fulfilling happy platonic relationship which could last a lifetime if he accepts who he is. Sure you will be upset, but you say yourself you would be prepared to help him accept his sexuality. Its much better than the alternative.
...............................
A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (15 April 2008):
 It's understandable that 'he's not sure himself' because if you're his first girlfriend, how is he supposed to know what he really likes? He's with you, that should be the first sign tht he's not gay.
Just because he was teased doesn't mean the teasing things are true. This could also be a reason he isn't sure about his sexuality - because other people have implanted it in his mind.
And no, if he turns out to actually be homosexual then you can't 'make him straight'. He is the way he is. you shouldn't even try to change it if he decides that he isn't heterosexual.
I know it won't be nice for you if he does turn out to be gay, but this is a learning experience for him because you're his first girlfriend. stop worrying about him being gay - you'll make him even more unsure of himself! Just see how things work out and hope they work out for the best. If he turns out to be gay, then worry about how you're going to deal with it.
...............................
|
