A
female
age
41-50,
*likenight
writes:I'm 2 months pregnant, and have a 4 month old at home. My boyfriend works, I am a stay at home mom. Last night, my b.f. got a call from his sister who lives 2 hours up north with her b.f. Something happened, she didn't say what but she was packing her things to move back out here, where her family lives. She is 21 yrs. old. She was in college. She says she'll just go to college out here and that it's cheaper. She asked him if she could stay with us. I am not a sociable person, I don't dislike her but I don't think we should be supporting her when we struggle to put groceries in our house sometimes. She probably won't be working either. We have a 2 bedroom home, and one room is the babie's room and the other is our room, and with another baby on the way I don't see where she thinks she's going to stay anyways. I don't want to be here with her all day while my b.f. is at work. I like my privacy. Her parents are in the process of moving, and they don't even know where they are going to live, so she said she can't stay with them. Her sister is a single mom with 2 young boys, and she says there is no room over there for her to stay there. Her other brother and his wife have a 2 bedroom apartment and no kids. She is friends with her other brother and his wife a lot more than she is with us. I personally think she should be asking them if she can stay there. They make twice as much money as us and have less responsibility. My b.f. said he doesn't want to tell her no, and I also don't want to be mean, but I really don't want her to live with us and have her friends over, etc..Am I being unreasonable here? I am also a litte irritated that she would even ask that because I barely know her, and she knows we have a baby and one on the way and that I don't work so we don't have a lot of money. I also know that on the kind of income she would be making if she got a job, she won't be able to support herself so there's the fear that she will never leave! What does everybody think of this situation? What would you tell her?
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (22 August 2007):
It sounds like your life has been hectic enough. He should say no, because you are in no financial shape to do it. If it were temporary, like two weeks, then maybe. When do the parents think they'll move?
But honestly, she should only move in with you if your financial situation is so bad that you could use another person to split rent and you are sure she would pay it. But it sounds like it would get too crowded. Otherwise, I think she should have the sense to ask someone else. Even if her parents are moving, so what? Move in there temporarily and move where they go or move out and go somewhere else when they move out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): Talk to your husband. You have a very good argument seeing as there is another brother who will be able to help support her.
Tell your husband it's hard as it is, and it's not fun being at home trying to do your everyday things whilst she is there. Also you need to talk to her, be nice and polite and tell her you don't think her living with your is going to work - you have a growing family and a 2 bedroom house which can't fit another adult in.
I hope your husband stands up to her because what's next? Will he let her friends come live with you too? Good Luck Hun xx.
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (21 August 2007):
 Been there and done that and that was one of the contributing factors of my marriage split.
My husbands brother moved in with us last Feb only going to stay a couple of weeks while he got himself sorted, he ended up leaving at the end of Nov and my husband had moved out in Sep.
His brother had no job so did not give us any help financially and we supported him when it came to food, he also has a son that he had to stay over at our house for three to four nights a week and we were a family of four already.
I will always do things to help out family but never again would i have anyone stay with us, it can have such a major impact on a relationship especially when there are already financial difficulties.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, ilikenight +, writes (21 August 2007):
ilikenight is verified as being by the original poster of the question The moderator put the headline wrong. My b.f. has not told her yes, and it's not that I don't want her here, I really can't afford it and I honestly wouldn't want anyone to move in b/c of privacy and financial reasons. I do like her as a person.
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