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My boyfriend's ex who is the mother of his children is becoming a problem in our relationship, what should I do?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 August 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *aylee kristen writes:

What do I do if it bugs me if my boyfriends ex which is also the mother of his two children calls and texts non stop everyday even while I'm with him? and she knows it and she calls and says he needs to come and get the kids now and that if he doesn't that she's going to put them up for adoption, and every status he has on facebook she has a rude comment to and she's saying she's going to take him to court for more child support. and when I first met her I didn't like her I donno what to do and she won't let him have the kids because she knows ill be there and she's just afraid ill be a better mother then she is can someone help me solve this problem?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010):

The ex is playing a silly game....she is NOT going to put the kids up for adoption and depending on the state she lives, there are guidelines. If your bf is involved in a positive manner, he probably can seek to have partial cust. of the children? I would sugg. seeking legal advice.

It's always draining when the new woman has to "deal" with the baby momma drama. As far as her calling, you can't put a time limit on that because, after all, she is the mother of his children and if she needs something pertaining to the kids, she should call. Now, she could be abusing this, but unless you have proof you will never know.

People have to think twice before getting involved with a person who has a kid...I was in a situation once, and by ex ended up choosing the baby's mother over me...it was one heart breaking exp.

You didn't like his ex from the beginning, so that's an indication that you were either jealous or had some indiff. towards this woman and you didn't even know her, therefore you have to sit down and get your mental thought process in order because, you aren't being mature about the situation either..neither of you are. Therefore, she...meaning the ex was never in a position where she was "becoming" a problem...you made her a problem MENTALLY because, of your dislike towards her even when you first met her. So, what happened is that when you dislike a person without cause, you look for any and everything to justify your dislike and it looks as though you have found one. Maybe the ex knows you never liked her and is just trying to get under your skin by using the children as an excuse to contact your bf all the time. Both of you are to blame.

It would be nice to know what you bf thinks about all of this and how he is reacting to it. Advice from the wise: don't get involved with a guy who has kids if you are not mature enough to handle the situation.

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A female reader, neptune United States +, writes (3 August 2010):

neptune agony auntThis is something that is so difficult.I am in the same situation with my husband and his ex wife. What you have to do is be strong if you really love your husnad. Stand by him through whatever because i bet hes hurting that he cant be with his kids at all times because thats the way my husband is feeling. Take her to court and get joint custody and that way she has to let him see his kids, if hes paying child support then he has the right to see his kids by law and if she doesnt let him then get the police involved. I understand that he might want to be civil about it but you cant be civil with a women like that. Tell the court how she is harrasing you both and go to court. Trust me thats the only way things will get better.

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