A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 16 year old boy. my gf is 14 and she is pregnant. her mom found out and she is trying to say we cant keep it. she is saying that we eather have to adopt the baby to her mom, adopt it out or we have to have a abortion... we dont want to do any of them.her mom doesnt want her to get a abortion. whats the best thing for us. we are both sophmores and neather use of have a job, but i got one on the way. we really want to keep the baby. whats the best thing for us to do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): thank you so very much.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): i know so many people young and pregnant and trust me its far from easy, especially if you are not earning no money, benefit money supplies but not enough. All the young mums and dads i know struggle loads, and many have actually split because of the stress. I personally think an abortion because by the sound of it i don't think you two are ready to take on a responsibility. You need to consider your education it will be far from easy doing your gcse's. You both need to sit down and discuss all your options, such as; money, education, the fact your'll both have no freedom. & etc... if i was you both of you right down the good & bad of having this baby i suggest this will help you both work out the right decision for you both. But whatever you choose, Good luck in the future.
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A
female
reader, Megeroonie +, writes (3 August 2010):
whatever you do DON'T have an abortion!!! just bc the two of you messed up doesn't mean you should kill an innocent baby! if you still want to see your baby, you should adopt it out to one of your moms. that way you could still see it & spend time with it. I know for a fact as soon as that baby is born it'll be so hard to give it up to someone y'all don't really know so giving it to a mom would be best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): wow you are in a slight pickle!
family is the best thing for you right now and i think you should really be talking this out with them deeply.
at 16 and 14, you are both for one seriously under age! and still very you for all of this!
i dont want to give you an answer of 'yes keep the baby' or 'no don't', but i really think that you need to think about your future. though this baby means a lot to you right now, do you honestly think that your education, social life and relationship with your girlfriend be able to take it?
putting your baby up for adoption would be very difficult as you will become more attached to him/her each day and will find it very hard to part with them. if the option of adoption to your partners mum is available, it does seem a kind offer, one in which you can still bond and become a family, still raise the baby, but with some extra help.
abortion will also be hard, but you have to think that you have not met the baby,,, do you think that it is a life or some cells that you are not too attached to yet.
a baby will take up most if not all of your time, care, money and attention... does it seem fair to raise a baby in a way in which you may not be able to provide properly?
i have never been in your situation and so cannot possibly understand the confusion you are feeling, but like i say, your family know you better than anyone, are you ready to have a child? honestly? be honest to yourself, partner family and to that little baby!
personally if i had to put myself in the situation i would have to let the baby go,, i would have to know that the relationship i was in really would last, i would have to feel 110% ready both finacially, physically and mentally...
i know people say that there is never a right time to have a baby, but there are better times than others and personally i think this is one of the less better times. concentrate on you... do you really feel like you will have a relationship with this girl in 10/20/50 years time! even if you were not together, do you think you could handle going through raising a child as a 'broken' family?
sorry for the long comment, i hope i have helped a little.
listen to your family.
look after yourself.
all the best!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): Your both so very young and you have a full life ahead of you, you got plenty of time in the future for a baby your both still babies yourself, I do honestly think abortions best because your both in school you got to concentrate on things you need, chances are you will break up maximum a few years im sorry but its true, best thing to do save parenthood for the future, message me if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, Cherry91  +, writes (3 August 2010):
You are both far too young for a baby in my opinion. I think your girlfriend's Mom is right. If an abortion seems too extreme then please at least let her Mother bring up the baby for you. Surely you want your child to have the best it can out of life, right? And let's be honest, two kids can't be the people to give that to him/her.
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