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female
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anonymous
writes: Im a 19 year old girl, and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, basically the problem is that his father(53) flirts with me, well i think he does. The only problem is that my boyfriend always suggests that im the one leading his dad on and flirting with him, when yeah i do sometimes flirt with him but just being friendly and i know it would never mean anything between us.On occassions he will (his dad) be very flirtatious, i mean he will say stuff to me which i dont really know how to reply to because i sometimes feel awkward. Its got so far that i dont want to be left alone in the house with him just incase he does try anything on with me.He is an attractive man for his age and this is not like him to be overally flirting with me, its only started in the past couple of months.The usual thing will be tickling me, making excuses to touch me, grab my arm, the other day i asked my bf for a hug and his dad barged in and hugged me, im not saying it didnt feel nice but its awkward because he always says and does stuff infront of the family.I dont want anything to happen between us but i cant mention anything to him because i dont know whether it means anything to him or if hes joking or if he doesnt realise what he says and does.We went on holiday this summer and basically the first day i was walking up to the bins and he was with me, basically my hand brushed his and i was my usal jokey self by saying "im sorry, i nearly held your hand there" and he replied i wouldnt mind that. i didnt know what to do or say, and we were playing random games on hol and he would rugby tackle me and land on top of me, that was awkward. Um also i said to my bf if he played the game with us i would show him my tits and his dad just shouted i'll play and everyone looked at him, he would touch my leg and randomly flirt with me.he still does it, and just this weekend we had an incident where we were talking about our family rabbit and my bf's mum said hse thinks you love the rabbit more than her( jokingly talking about me) and he said well i dont think (me) would liek me to place her on my lap and stroke her, i mean its just not appropriate.i just wanted to ask for your advice about how i go about this, do i say anything or just calm it down a bit. I honestly dont think he'd actually do anything, even if i do have feelings for him because fo the attention????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): really !!! c'mon now !!! .. you definitely have a contributing factor to his problem .. you might hate to admit the truth but you yourself like the attention and the thrill of being the centre of attraction. if you consider yourself a decent respectable woman you need to STOP flirting and playing mind games with him and everyone else. talk to your bf and tell him that you do not feel comfortable being around his father. Now you said you have feelings for him because for attention ???? now there you just answered your question ...so really the problem is not the father (boys will be boys) , the problem is YOU ... sick as it may sound ...peace out
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (17 October 2006):
I definitely think you need some distance here - touching and tickling are not on for a start. You think it doesn't mean anything - sounds as if it does to him. That's maybe why your boyfriend has tried to warn you off. Be less available and don't respond so readily to him. I think if you suddenly make a big scene it will cause more fuss than you mean to - perhaps just try to ease out of his view, as it were, and hopefully he'll get the message sooner rather than later.
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A
female
reader, !x!T!x!  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 joking or not this guys a creep and hes making you feel uncomfortable i think the next time he does something you dont like no matter whos there you should make it known (as loud as you can) that you dont feel comfortable with his behaviour towards you. At the end of the day he is your boyfriends father and it is soooo not acceptable and as for your boyfriend why isnt he doing something about it...if you dont get this sorted now it might just turn nasty ....and if all else fails kick him right in the balls and tell him what a sleazy pervert he is !!! remember and be ready for him next time...he'll soon get the message.
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