A
female
age
30-35,
*ugarBlush
writes:I'm in a relationship with the guy i really love. We're both 17 and he's my first bf ever. We've been together for almost 9 months now. Yesterday, my bf's dad passed away because of heart attck. The last time my bf got to see his dad was last year during christmas. My bf was away from home for 2 months after the christmas celebration to stay with his grandparents for a while since we just graduated high school and still waiting for out results before we could go to any colleges or universities. He broke down when he heard about his dad's death and went home for the funeral. I cried when I heard about it. He called me a few times and cried. I want to be there for him but my parents wouldn't let me visit them at the funeral. My parents never liked my bf i just dnt know why. He may be a little wild jst like any other teenage guys (heck even my brother's tht wild) but he's really loving and caring and really nice to his mom and his sisters. He hugs and kisses them every single day and takes good care of them. Now he's the man of the family, since he's older brother is away studying in australia. Do you think its fair tht my parents wont let me visit him? I think its just mean, I mean he just lost his father before he could even have a good relationship with him :'(
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female
reader, Lorelai  +, writes (13 February 2011):
I think this is unfair of them. But I also don't think there is anything you can do about it. I probably think this is unfair because I'm not a parent and I don't understand what it's like to be one but I think your parents should be supportive, even if they don't like your boyfriend he has lost his dad, no teenager should have to go through this. You could probably be his biggest source of comfort and I think your parents should understand and respect that.Unfortunately there really is nothing you can do but just because they're your parents it doesn't mean they're right all the time. (They just think they are :P)
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 February 2011):
 Hey it's not your fault, if your parents said no it's no,
you are a minor and you aren't free yet to do as you please, if your boyfriend can't understand this concept then he is still too immature to be dating.
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A
female
reader, SugarBlush +, writes (13 February 2011):
SugarBlush is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell actually my boyfriend lives about a couple km frm my house and I've already met his mom before when he wanted me to meet her. In fact I've even met his uncle and all his other siblings too. My boyfriend said it would mean a lot if i go n visit them. And when i told him i cnt mke it, he got really sad and refused to talk to me :(
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (13 February 2011):
I don't know, it does sound a bit harsh then again I suppose your parents may have their good reasons.
Like, you are only 17, and it sounds like you'd have to travel to attend this funeral, maybe they don't want you gallivanting on your own yet with people they don't know .
Maybe your relationship is new or not that serious or steady yet and your parents want you to avoid an unnecessary " official " involment with the family ,... when in a few months you could not even be dating anymore ( Hey it happens at your age ! ). Maybe you see this guy as just a tad wild because you see him through the rose tinted glasses of love, and instead he is a real punk -so
it's normal that your parents , while not being able to
make you break up, at least do not want to facilitate your love story !
All in all, I'd say - try and trust your parents, and believe that they have your best interest in mind. When you are 17 they ALWAYS look mean and harsh and unreasonable, but much more often than not a few years down the road you think " boy were they right ".
You can always give yr bf your support by phone or I-net.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (13 February 2011):
Hi there. It probably feels like they are being mean, but I don't know that they are being mean.
Perhaps they feel that a funeral is personal, and that it's inappropriate that you be there, when you are not family. It's hard to know for sure.
In any case, it's probably too late now anyway.
You will just have to be content to comfort your boyfriend by phone conversations until you can see him again.
Unfortunately, there isn't any other choice.
The other thing you could also do, is buy him and his family a lovely sympathy card conveying your empathy.
In the card just say -
To dear (his name, and family), the verse in the card - Thinking of you at this time, love (your name), xx.
This is the least you can do, and it lets him know you care that he feels sad, and that you feel for his loss.
Then post it to his address where he lives with his mother and his sisters.
He will appreciate that, I'm sure.
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