A
female
age
36-40,
*ipsydoodlenoodle
writes:Ok, I have a question (obviously) it’s about my boyfriends brother; he is infatuated with their ex-flatmate. He is starting to self harm and get really depressed about it; ok she moved out but she still see’s him on a regular basis, yes she flirts but in her defence she hasn’t done anything else. She has a boyfriend and he has been single for far too long and has basically attached himself to her. She says jump an inch and he jumps a mile just to prove himself. He is beginning to get too depressed and worked up over the whole issue. Can anyone give any tips on how to guide him away from her and let him know there are plenty of lovely girls out there?Thank you
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depressed, flirt, has a boyfriend, moved out, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (19 December 2007):
 If he is harming himself, he needs a professional. You shouldn't be the only one in the family worrying about your brother. It's not a betrayal of trust to tell other responsible adults when you are getting them the help they need. Tell your parents and enlist their help in getting him some appropriate care. Being depressed is one thing, self-mutilation comes from underlying issues that need to be dealt with, and he might actually need medication. You are a great sister to care so much, but you need some support if you are going through all this by yourself. I hope that everything works out for you and your brother. Take care Dear.
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (19 December 2007):
 Yes I can give you a tip. Direct him to this website and suggest he posts his situation here. Getting feedback from a wide range of people helps you see things differently. What a good girl you are trying to help your boyfd's brother.
Richard
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (19 December 2007):
 There might be an underlying issue - he might be depressed and self harming for another issue, but is using this girl as the reason.
He really needs to go to his doctor, counselling would be a great start, talking and venting can be such relief.
And it's great that you are there for him, and I assume his brother too, he has a support system. But sometimes people like his brother will wallow in his depression if he knows there are people to pander to him - I had an ex boyfriend like that, because he knew I was there for him and I was probably too soft with him, he never got the help he needed and it put too much strain on us and we ended up breaking up.
Off the topic a little, but that's my own little personal input :o)
Basically, the brother needs help professionally. Maybe look into his options and present him with it, give him the numbers he needs to call, the leaflets to look through.
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