A
female
age
36-40,
*ayla24
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, and we've lived together for 2. We met in college, and his best friend whom he spent almost every day in college with is a female. I was actually sort of friends with her at first, but as soon as him and I got together, she began acting all weird towards me and saying very hurtful negative things about me to our friends (we had the same friend circle). I think she liked him and was jealous of us so thats why she said such negative things about me. It has been a constant issue in our relationship; at the beginning he would constantly go everywhere with her (parties, dinner, movies) and never take me out. I would go all day without talking to him to find out he'd been with her all day. Now he doesn't talk to her much because of the strain that it caused us, but I still feel like he is calling her and not telling me he talks to her. I think about it everyday and it am so paranoid still; she still calls her occassionally and is very rude to me. My bf hates talking about it and gets mad at me. I don't want to ruin our relationship but I don't know how to get over this issue!! Help!
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female
reader, blondebabe86 +, writes (22 July 2008):
Tell her too back off find a man. If she don't listen get rid of both no use for them then.
A
female
reader, Given-to-fly  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Gena is right girl. You dont want to start getting all parinoid and let this situation get you all crazy. I have been in this situation and in a way i still am.
You have to set her straight... And then him.
There is a BIG diffirence between girlfriends and girl friends.
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A
female
reader, madnomo +, writes (4 June 2008):
This is trouble!! If you like this guy get some couseling for the both of you. Tell her to get her own boyfriend and see if it is ok for her boyfriend to have a female best friend. Ask her if she is for boyfriend to spend time alone with his new female friend. This is wrong in so many ways. If you get married and do not work this out it will resurface in later years to haunt you. Fix it now!
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A
female
reader, Twirly  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 Hey Sweetiem if the poster below really is your boyfriend's friends then you are better off without them both.
Leave to each other and move on, you deserve so much better!
I just hope he makes a new best friend further down the line so that the other girl will know how she made you feel for 3 years.
They're very immature and you should walk away and not look back!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): trust me, there is more than friendship in there. I know, cause I was the best friend. He say they were having problems and are only together because of the child. I was his best friend in college and now we're living togehter.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): My best friend is a guy, and he has a girlfriend who we know from highschool, and i don't really care for her too much(for good reason.) But, the fact of the matter is the more you fight with him about it, the more your pushing him away and forcing him to secretly talk to her...put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel if he made it so hard for you to talk to ur best friend, that you had to hide it. If anything was going to happen between them it would have happened already. he wouldn't have spent 3 years with you if he wanted her.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (14 March 2008):
 You're bf's not stupid. He can see very well what is going on and he is playing with fire. Maybe he just likes the attention or the fact that this makes you jealous (him spending more time with her) or both. Whatever the case, if he really loved you like he should, he would cut off all ties with her if you asked him too. He has no right to get mad at you when she has put you through so much crap. And I suggest giving him an ultimatum and telling him that it's either her or you and to choose one. If you find out that he is still talking to her, leave. He knows what she is trying to do, and yet he still chooses to hang out with her. That's dumb!!!! If I knew some guy liked me that way, I would not hang around him (since I am taken.) Not because I can't trust myself, but because I wouldn't trust the person.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (14 March 2008):
 Sorry to say this, but I get the feeling there is more to this friendship than meets the eye. You say he takes her to parties and movies etc, but does not take you out. Are you 100% sure there is nothing going on between them? She is jealous of you Period, because you are his girlfriend and she is not.
I think you two need a serious talk concerning this relationship, explain to him you are all for him being friends with this girl, but under no circumstances are you going to be at the receiving end of her verbal abuse. Also that he should be taking you out on dates more often, or you will walk out of the door if he does not get his act together. Good luck Hun. Dusky xxx.
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (14 March 2008):
 You need to set her straight and tell her to find a boyfriend that you are IT.
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