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My boyfriend's best friend is a girl

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 January 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend has a bestfriend and she's a girl.. I knew about her before me and him became afficial.. the talk every now and then.. and once before my boyfriend gave her my number and she called me saying "you don't ever have to worry about me and him, he's like my brother, and I understand how you feel as a women. But I'm honestly telling you you don't have to worry. I'm not jealous or crazy. I'm just not comfortable. He's a trust worthy guy. I trust him. He never gave me a reason to not trust it. Is it possible for a guy and a girl to be bestfriends and nothing more?.. and am I jealous or scared? Should I trust it until he give me other reasons. I want to stop thinking about this and try to atleast be a women about it.

View related questions: best friend, jealous

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i thank all of you for your response... it really helped.. i already had the answers but i just wanted to make sure.. i accepted that fact and i was being a women.. because if we are inlove im your best friend as well as your lover.. but she was his bestfriend before we became afficila and i accepted that.. but we have an understanding now.. but THANKS TO ALL YOUR RESPONSES THEY ARE REALLY TRUE... =)

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A female reader, old-spinstah United Kingdom +, writes (22 January 2010):

My best friend is a guy and wouldn't sleep with him. Yuck -It's really not a place I want to go.

The fact that she's made contact with you and wants to meet is a great sign that this a platonic friendship, I think.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010):

hey,

my boyfriends best friend is a girl and a few months back i was in the same position as you. of course you have nothing to worry about as one of the others readers on here put it someguys find it easier to relate to girls than guys. i was really jealous of my bfs best mate but for a while i didnt know why. in the end the answer finally came to me and i found out i was jealous of the fact that they were so close and knew each other so well and that made me feel inadequate to be his gf but in the end i accepted the fact that he loves me... thats why he comes home ot me at the end of the day and tells me that he loves me. you have nothing to worry about. its easier to accept a guy being best mates and really close to another guy but wen it comes to guys being best mates with girls its not so easy. however has your bf ever shown any interest in her in a sexual way that wud make you assume that he wud cheat on for her? if not then u will accept that they are just really close good friends and nothing else. thats wot i had to do adn now my bfs best mate is one of my very good friends too and we all get along well. stop worrying about hunny otherwise ul become very insecure in ur relationship. take a deep breath and think about who he comes home to at the end of the day and who he shares his bed with.

good luck xx

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (22 January 2010):

Miamine agony auntCan a man and woman be friends.. why not.. gay guys can have straight men as friends and don't want to screw them.. people are not animals.. you don't want to have sex with everyone of the opposite sex. Of course men and women can be friends, lot's of my friends are men, and my ex partner had women friends that he knew before me. Friends are friends, are we to drop all our male school friends just because we grow up and reach puberty. What kind of world would this be if we could only talk to other women and had to ignore men? Old can be friends with the young, men and women can be friends, human and animal can be friends. Humans need friendship and companionship, we are more than our gender and our sexual drives.

If you feel threatened by your man having female friendships, then you'll always be looking over your shoulder and worrying about any man your with and the women he may talk to.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (22 January 2010):

The Realist agony auntThat reply is absolutely terrible. I have a girl friend who I love and most of my friends are girls because I find them easier to talk to and I relate better to them. I would never cheat with one of them.

You do not have anything to worry about as long as you trust him, especially if this has been a long time friendship. If anything was going to happen it would have already. Not all men are out to get with as many girls as possible, some just like the company of some who understands their feelings.

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (22 January 2010):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntYou obviously don't trust him.

You are wasting his time and yours.

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A female reader, Sugarbuns Australia +, writes (22 January 2010):

Sugarbuns agony auntNo. It's not possible because the sex thing gets in the way. Trust me one of them wants more from this relationship and is using the "friendship" as a front. Male/female friendships only work when the male/female are both single and or in non-committed relationships. Otherwise it just gets complicated, messy and gets in the way of romantic relationships that ARE important.

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