A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a little skeptical about a few things that have been going on with my boyfriend recently; am I in the right to be skeptical, am I just overly paranoid, should I consult him, and if so, what is the best way to go about that?A little bit of background information:My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. I know he cares for me deeply and I care for him deeply as well. The last few weeks have been really busy for me as I just picked up another job, I'm stressed over financial stuff, I'm starting school, and my family environment isn't the greatest... so maybe I am just taking all of my frustration out on him as he tells me I am, but here are a few things that have been irking my soul a little lately.He seems distant when we chat, yet claims he is not.Typically if we haven't had sex for a week, he is always on a mission to get some and can't seem to think about anything else.. which I love but 2 weeks later, still no sex, and he really doesn't push for it.Recently, he's been putting overtime in at work even though he is fully aware he isn't getting paid for it... not something he would typically be down for.His female co-worker called after hours around 9 at night. He insisted it was work related and never picked up while I was around.He very rarely picks up his phone around me any more.He holds his phone away from me when he's txting even though I have never looked at his phone too see what he is doing because I trust him.He insists that I'm making a big deal of little things and picks and prods at the comments I make in regards to little things that bother me, which usually makes them bigger issues.He generally seems far more interested in commenting over Facebook.He used to always want to call and talk to me and now it seems like he could go hours without staying in touch.The other day, while he was at work after I hadn't really talked to him much I was on my way home from my job, early day and could have sworn I saw his car drive past me. It was strange, I contacted him via txt and asked him if he was at work, he said yes and when I told him why I asked he insisted on going outside to check and see if his car was outside... he told me his car was still there and stopped talking, after that, he never mentioned the issue againSo, all of these make me a bit curious. However, I figured it was the stress that was getting me down so I have made sure to not get angry with him and to be a happy persona round him and he enjoys it, and said that I seem changed, but, still none of these issues have really changed...
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, I'm glad I didn't get slammed this time! I really appreciate your responses. I trust him, I do, but these little things make me weary. But on the other hand there are things he does that still scream, "I love you and am completely in love with you," like how he fussed and fussed when I wasn't able to spend most of the holiday season with him because I was with my family; he yearned to see me so badly. He still runs his hands through my hair when we talk. He does try to fix things when we talk about something, like when I asked him why we never hang out with his friends anymore, he decided to invite me bowling with his friends, and wasn't thrilled when I wasn't interested... heh, I guess the funny thing is that maybe I don't know what I want from him and maybe hes sick of it, but I guess I'd hope that if that was the case, with the kind of relationship him and I have he would surely speak up. He doesn't really grab for my hand to hold as often as he used to, or kiss me randomly while were out like he used to, but sometimes I feel like that just comes with comfort in a relationship. Maybe this is just a rough patch? Or maybe I trust him too much, I know, I know women tend to thrive on the drama, but these little things, cause for a little worry. Then again, it could always be the stress of working too much and taking classes.... So I really appreciate the suggestion of maybe waiting things out, especially if I feel like I really trust him and maybe this is just me making a big deal of nothing. It is suspicious and I have kind of tried to talk to him about it, but this is a tough one to talk about all while trying to avoid it having anything to do with trust.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 January 2010):
I have to be honest, this seems very suspicious. The call from the female worker after nine is the clincher. If it was work, he could have answered in front of you with nothing to worry about. And certainly when a man's sex habits change like that, there is cause for concern. I think you need to have a serious talk with him to be honest. All the secrecy about the phone is suspicious too.
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A
female
reader, lioness32 +, writes (15 January 2010):
 Well i would keep my eyes open, you really don't have enough proof yet but, working over time and not getting paid, sounds like he's hanging around the job to be with someone or he's lying. He might not even be at work. And why didn't he answer the phone if it was work related? because it probaly wasn't. You're smarter than that, Sometimes you have to trust your gut. Trust me, whats done in the dark will come to light. give it time
Take care
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