A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello.Ive been with my fience for nearly 3 years now.we've grown up together and we've both turned 20.I dont ask for much,just want him to be there for me,to love me,and to get spoiled from time to time.which i dont but i get told how much he lvoes me etc..our reltionship is ok,hes recently started a full time job whilst im still at college.were stiill young being both 20 years old.sooo i see him like once twice a week,if that!he spends his weekends wuth his friends,i just dont understand why he cant spend his time with me.am i boring him now,i dno! but then if i invite him to come out with me and my mates he wont,coz he doesnt like clubs and drinking, ( which i only do once in a blue moon)he causes a argument and goes in a mood coz he doesnt like me going to clubs. but then then his mates ask him to go out with him to a club and he goes and drink!just dont understand! hope someone can help x Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shiraz +, writes (6 December 2008):
hiyah it just seems to me the shine has come off your relationship and your heading different ways yet remaining in the relationship and its tricky to know which way to go. i dont think your boring him i just think youve grown used to each other and what you once had is slowly taking its toll and its almost like your letting go its ok for you both to have space apart that shouldnt be a problem as a relationship needs to have that balance and space to make it work yet there does need to be boundaries.its almost like you have a rota for when you see each other and i think by being so planned and formal you no longer have that spontaneous thing you did have and its affecting the way you both are. try something new, surprise him! you dont have to change who you are to try and fit around him, nobody should be put in that position, if you dont like drink and hes aware of this then he should respect that and you can do the alternative such as a night in etc. it doesnt always have to be what and when he wants to do and if he gets fustrated you have to change you need to regain the balance youve lost.
talk to him and tell him what you think needs to happen in order to save your relationship as at the moment its heading towards a bad place and you feel woth his support and input its worth saving. its not a battle you go alone, your both in it till the end or there is nothing at all to save. best of luck hun xxx
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