A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI want to buy my english teacher a present for xmas. He's not just my teacher, he's more of a best friend to be honest. He got me a birthday prezzie a while back, so i feel kinda obliged anyways. However, he is married and Im fairly young (17) and female, and i don't want to tread on his wife's toes, or raise any awkward questions (who bought you this? why? etc). i think, understandably he hasn't mentioned me to her. I don't just wanna get him chocolates or anything cause he's always going on about how he hates it when people just buy thoughtless presents like that.I really wanted to get him a necklace (not some really romantic engraved thing or anything, more like fashion jewellery) but I dunno if she might be abit funny with that? I know i cant get him aftershave or clothes or anything, and I think he probably already has all the books i could think to get him, and he just downloads music so CDs are out of the question.What sort of thing do men in their thirties even like?And on his card do I put his first name (which is what i usually call him) or 'Mr' soandso. and do i sign with 'love' or just 'from'.sorry I know alot of questions about something which might seem quite trivial but I think its already quite a charged sitch, which I dont really want to get any worse, and i really dont want to cause trouble between him and his wife, or if anyone was to find out (stuff like that is quite frowned upon in our school)xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): I did get caught up with a engaged teacher. We always got each other gifts. He would get me something at least once a week without me even asking or saying anything. So I know its difficult to find something to give him in return. I once bought him some cricket cuff links as he loves cricket. We decided if his fiance now wife were to ask he was to say the class had but some money together and it was from all of us.
Just be careful and dont get involved with him. Thats my only advice.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): I completely disagree with the first two posts. Although the majority of students do not get their teachers a present, many do. Just get something simple but thoughtful... make him a card and write about the impact he's had on your life... teachers appreciate it when their students write to them and they will save the cards and letters they get forever. Or get him a coffee mug that says "World's Best Teacher."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): By all means get him a present - I used to get a couple of my teachers presents at Christmas. However, jewellery is a bad idea - it's a very 'girlfriendy' present.
I would suggest that you give him a Waterstones voucher for a book, or a Virgin voucher for a CD, something like that. Even a nice bottle of wine.
The problem is, although you may want your pressie to look personal, it's a risky business for it to do so. You don't want to inadvertently get the pair of you into trouble, so just play it safe.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (7 December 2008):
 Getting him a present or being his friend doesn't overstep the boundaries, per se, and, I think that it's nice when students buy their teachers gifts. However, I have a feeling you like him. It would be a bad idea to act on those feelings.
Maybe a bookmark, or a gift certificate to Borders would be nice. He's an English teacher, he must like books. That would be special and I'm sure his wife wouldn't get mad, you're just being thoughtful.
You live in the UK... it's heartwarming to know that SOMEWHERE in the world they treat teachers properly.
I live in the States and they treat teachers like dirt here. I'm sure that the Internet nazis will give me a hard time if they see this, but it's a fact. It's refreshing that things are different elsewhere. :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): There isn't anything wrong with a teacher being a friend, even a close one.
But getting him a gift whilst you are still at school is generally not the wisest of ideas.
But if you must. Get him a gift for both him and his wife. Something that they can both appreciate.
Things like Theatre tickets or concert tickets would go down well.
But if he is a friend, a simple Christmas card thanking him for his support and friendship over the year would be perfectly fine. No romantic or even sexual undertines there.
Unless of course there is a romantic undertone to the friendship already, which I have to assume there may be a little of because otherwise you wouldn't be so nervous about it.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (6 December 2008):
 I don't think you should give him anything. Write him a nice Christmas card or something, but this relationship is already treading on inappropriate. His wife will raise her eyebrows if you get him any sort of jewelry or aftershave... those are gifts that girlfriend gives. If you give him anything, make it something that both him AND his wife can enjoy.
You sound like a thoughtful girl, just don't get messed up with any married teacher. That can only get messy.
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