A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey gd ppl...well i have been with my bf for a year n a couple of months. We recently had a problem with me texting my ex which is my cousin so he fought n had this thing of not trusting me anymore he keeps on telling me that if i wanna leave him and go back to ma cousin and i don't want to lose him because i love him so much... Every time wen we talk he brings it back that i texted my cousin which is nt good to me i feel he has not moved on, so should i leave him or not?
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male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe  +, writes (1 July 2013):
 He hasnt moved on. Sadly there is very little you can do to actually make him move on, it is something he has to do at his own pace. Should you leave him? Hmmmmmm I am not sure you should, after whether he knows it or not this is what he wants, he is trying to push you away to protect himself from a perceived threat to his well being. Looked at that way, all you will do is confirm his worst fears.
I do however think you need to be firm and tell him this has got to stop, that you understand you hurt him and you are willing to work with him to get through that but that he has to try and get past this because there is a side to this that is slightly emotionally abusive (although that is not the intent, clearly) and if he cant then yes you may have to consider leaving the relationship. However, I wouldnt mention that yet but it is something that you have to be prepared to do, I dont think you are right yet and want to salvage this if you can, so sit him down and tell him how it is. Hopefully things will start to change for the better, not overnight but with time and a little perseverance. Good luck.
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (1 July 2013):
 Once trust is broken, it's hard to gain it back. But HE chose to forgive and move on with you. So he signed up for forgiving. Once that decision is made, it's imperative that he not bring up the issue over and over. Otherwise, what is happening right now in your circumstance takes place and the relationship becomes extremely unhealthy.
It seems to me that you both need to move on. He can't seem to get in a good place about it and let it go. So I think that if he can't, one of you should make the move to end it. Good luck.
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