My boyfriend was very loving, we had sex, he invited me to dinner with his family, all in the last week we were together, then bam, he said he didn't want a relationship, don't want him back, want to try to understand what happened, can anyone shed s |
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female
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anonymous
writes:I'm 19 years old. My bf recently broke up with me but I didn't see it coming because right up until the very last night we spent together he was totaly leading me on. He lead me on by talking about our future, making more plans, sleeping with me, inviting me to family dinners etc...all these things happened during the last week of our relationship and the last night we were together. The last time we were together as a couple was at dinner with his family. He was acting all normal apart for one thing. He was messaging a mate of his on his phone during dinner whihc was very weird beause his parents find that VERY disrespectful. I was trying to read it without it looking obvious and I saw a few key words such as party and alcohol. He droped me home fairly early that night. The last thing he said to me that night was "ill call you tomorrow when i wake up ok? ill miss you". thats something he would ususally say though. The following day, never got a call in the morning...I waited and waited. Finally at night I got a text message saying he didnt want to be in a relationship anymore.I DONT UNDERSTAND!!! He said he had been feeling like that for about a whole month. If he felt like it for all that time then how could he sleep with me for the first time during that time, and constantly talk about plans he made for our future together and also invite me to family dinners and so on.. Its like he built me up, only to watch me break.I am wondering if something happened at that party that he might of been to that his friend was texting him about. Please help me understand this. I am not looking for advice to get back with him, just understanding in what happened to help me learn from the experience.
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reader, xylplxym  +, writes (15 July 2008):
Um to answer your question about how he could sleep with you yet always know that he would break up with you latter is that he just wanted sex and when he was tired of you he broke up with you.
I seriously do not believe it was an over night change because that doesn't happen all too often in the real world. More likely, he was as you said "leading you on." Maybe you didn't realize at the time but people do lie. Of course it is possible something major happened that night but I doubt it. The only thing I could think of granted he actually did care about you is that he must have made some huge mistake that would ruin your relationship that night an so he ended it himself. Rather unlikely in my opinion. It probably was something further reaching that just that one night.
You can makeup whatever you want, but only he knows really, so just forget about it and move on just like you infer you intend to. Quite frankly you deserve much better than a guy who would so easily leave you, but I am sure that you knew this already.
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female
reader, Sprout +, writes (15 July 2008):
I'm sorry. What an ass! It sounds like he either met or got together with someone else at the party, but the fact that he didn't invite you or tell you about the party before hand hints to me that he was lying about or exaggerating his interest in you. Sounds like a player to me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): sorry to say but that's how some guys are. they are immature and don't admit what they really want. i believe he did like you and want to be with you. but another part of him wants to party and probably fool around. so instead of being mature and honest, he is going to act like a jerk! shame on him...but i'm proud of you for actually wanting to learn from this experience and move on. you're young, so have fun and soon you'll find mr.right! focus on being happy and finding someone that wants you to be happy! and don't try to hard to "focus on the future" take it one day at a time and make sure you make your man happy and he does the same so that the next day...you still want to be together! that's what me and my boyfriend does and we've been happy together for over 7 years!
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