A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 25 year old female that has been dating a 34 year old man for 5 years. He recently came into contact with a former female college friend and they've been flirting online. Now, he plans to meet with her this weekend to go to a concert. He goes on about how good she looks, and how great her body is (keep in mind, I'm not lacking in the looks department here), and has admitted that he'd love to sleep with her. She is married and has two children, and she also is interested in doing more than just flirting with him. My boyfriend tells me that there is nothing wrong with sleeping with her because she's the one not honoring her vows, he's not breaking any promises. I told him exactly how I felt and that it would be extremely hurtful if he were to go through with this. Am I the only one who thinks it's wrong for someone to sleep around with a married person? He tells me that our ethics are too different and that I'm being overly dramatic. He is very satisfied with me and our relationship, so he's not looking for anything else with her. The woman just wants to have a fling with him, but I still can't find this as acceptable. My boyfriend and I have been in threesomes before, so he technically was sleeping with other women, but this is an entirely different case. Any advice?
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male
reader, dyeruz  +, writes (29 January 2010):
See how your boyfriend feels when you have a threesome with another guy who's gifted...yes it's immature but this guy seems to need his ego stroked and you pandering to his whims while he waxes lyrical BS about different ethics will only serve to make him more of an assmunch than he really is. Its easy on the outside to say just leave, but if this guy can is willing to sleep with other people at the drop of a hat, do you really think he needs your permission to do it? From there its about trust and once trust goes, that's the point of relationship no return. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): Well I don't think he loves you like you think he does! Wanting to sleep with other people while in a relationship is wrong and there's no true love there...It will all end in tears! A threesome is bad enough in a relationship!Totally wrong and weird in my eyes.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 January 2010):
 In long term relationship for five years. You both agree to threesomes, and I'll assume that you were both happy with it. He now wishes to have sex with a married woman. He asked, you said no.. the difference is, you don't consent, and your not happy with him having sex with this woman who he constantly talks about. The marriage thing bothers you.
The fact that you agreed to threesomes makes no difference. Relationship and sex are about agreements and consent. He asked, you said no. If he sleeps with her, there is no guarantee that he'll not continue sleeping with her and maybe form an emotional commitment that puts your relationship in jeopardy. There is also no guarantee that he might not want to continue having sex with women without you and outside the bounds of your relationship. This is serious, if you both aren't agreeable on matters of sex, then someone is being disrespected. I would make this an ultimatum personally. For me, if he goes against my wishes and sleeps with this woman, then I would class that as being unfaithful and end the relationship as soon as I can.
He's not gonna find many women who would put up with such behaviour. You deserve a lot more respect.
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A
female
reader, shaia +, writes (28 January 2010):
personally i feel this is extremly disrespectful, i have been going through the same sort of thing, my boyfriend has been flirting online and i get so very insecure and jealous, it makes me cry each day but i think actually wanting to sleep with someone is awful, just because he is not married to you it doesnt give him ANY right what so ever!!! to sleep with other women.. UNLESS you have both agreed to have an open relationship inwhich you can both freely sleep with whomever, but i just dont see it as right no way! i know you guys have been together a long time, so you are trying to find it in your heart to let him do it in fear of losing him and the last 5 years of memories with him, but this guy is just bang out of order, tell him you can have 3somes together but if he wants to sleep with someone where you are not involved then you will need to reconsider your relationship.
im sorry you are in this mess..
goodluck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 January 2010):
Yes there is something wrong with him sleeping with her. Yes there is something wrong with this entire situation. This is usually where threesomes lead. One inevitably wants even more. Your boyfriend clearly has no respect for marriage, and no respect for you. End it. He doesn't love you.
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