A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend thinks it's a good idea for him to move out. We are both very young (19) and have been together since we were both 16. We've lived together for I'd say a year and a half, maybe even more. We've had issues like this in the past where he needed his space, but then he came back. I thought we were finally good and going to live together for good but now he wants to move out and be on his own. He said he doesn't feel good about himself and he needs time alone to get himself together. I feel that this is a huge step backwards and I don't want to lose him, but I also understand he needs to be no his own so he can grow and be a man and perhaps our relationship can get better.We are not as intimate and I miss it all. We really do spend about 99% of our time together so I see why he feels the way he does. I just want to know what this means...is it over? Or is taking this step backward mean we're taking a step forward in our relationship? We both love each other dearly. Any advice would be great, thank you. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 February 2011):
 You're welcome. Best of luck, and I think you have a good plan. Sometimes love doesn't go the way we want it to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're right. I'm going to focus on me and not worry about it. If he wants to see a life without me, then that is what I will give. If he wants to come back, he'll make up his mind soon enough. If not, then I have to keep moving forward even I love him with all of my heart. Thank you.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 February 2011):
Ok, I didn't realize this move out came with a breakup. Sorry, but that's a bad sign. I would venture he's likely wanting to see if he can date around for a while, but keep you in tow for if things don't work out for him.
Moving out is one thing, but moving out and ending things is a different story. I wouldn't wait too long for him to find himself. You deserve a guy who wants to be with you, not someone who MAY want to be with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): i dont want to say its over, im in the same situation im 19 and my bf is 21, we have been togther since i was 15 and him 17, we have lived together for about almost 3 years now but 5 months ago we decided to go on a break but stayed roomates, needless to say that didnt work because all we did was fight no matter what was said it turned into a fight, last week he decided it was time to move out, it might seem like a huge step backwars but i know its the right thing to do, it might be hard because im just not ready to let him go but i have to because the more you try and force it you'll just end up hating eachother, i know at the end of the day its going to be him no matter what happens in between, you will know in your heart whether this is going to help your relationship in the long run or if its officially over, sorry for the long reply but i hope it helped.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe spoke today and he said he would start over with me because he does love me and he does miss the way we used to be but that it's going to take him some time. He also said that he isn't looking for anyone or interested in anyone else or pursuing anything like that, he just wants to find himself again. He said its not a promise that we will get back together but its a possibility. He wants to figure out if I'm the one he wants to be with forever...
I'm confused and worried. I don't know if this is his way of saying its over for good.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 February 2011):
It doesn't mean it's over, but it does mean he is feeling like he may have jumped in over his head when you moved in together. It's very natural around your age to want to discover who you really are. That's very difficult when your identities are tied so closely together. This could actually be a good thing for the relationship, but your concerns are also valid. It all depends on if he's being honest about his reasons for wanting to move out. Do you trust he's being honest with you?
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