A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey i need advicehow do i decide between my boyfriend and my ex???i'm a virgin n i really love my boyfriend n my ex. i think i'm ready to go all the way but the problem is i want them both to b my first...i kno its not possible but i cant decide what should i do???i mean i love my boyfriend so much n i really care about him n i want him to be my first so bad....but my ex n i wanted our first time to be with each other n we both care about each other n have feelings for each other...my boyfriend wants us to make long passionate love..but ex wants hot mad sex...which is better n who should i chooseadvice needed urgently!!!
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female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 Making love is more meaningful, and it shows he cares & he respects you more than wanting 'mad sex'.
Stick with your boyfriend.
xxxx
A
female
reader, Danicali  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 I think you should stay with your boyfriend.I mean dont you think that having sex with the person you care about would seem more romantic and trustfull?Love is a crazy thing and sex is a way to express love.Your ex obviously doesnt care about you.I guess it might be different from somone else point of view.But my opinion you should stay with your boyfriend.Okay.I hope i helped you!
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A
male
reader, rk06 +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Hey, I would say wait it out until you know for sure what you want. Its tough, I know from experience. But, you will be much happier if you know what YOU want :)
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (18 July 2007):
 I don't think eyeswideopen is giving bad advice. If there are this many questions, then probably the answer is wait altogether until you're sure.
Your first time isn't going to be either "passionate" or "hot mad"; likely it's going to be clumsy and uncomfortable. ALL of us have this kind of first-time experience (since no on is born knowing how to do this but we all get practice over time). We all laugh at the expectations of our first time. Don't expect fireworks or you will be disappointed.
At this point, I say wait. And when you're sure, then do it. But don't cheat on your then-current boyfriend just because the sex might be better with someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): im sorry eyeswideopen but thats not very good advice, you cant just tell her that her question is goofy. i think that if you want to continue seeing both guys, your boyfriend is your best bet as he sounds like he will be more gentle and loving which is what you need for your first time. is it not an option to choose between them though? its not very fair on either of them that you are seeing them both at the same time, im not sure about your ex but your boyfriend definately sounds like he cares about u a great deal, is it really fair to be seeing someone behind his back? im not judging you, it's your life, but don't you think they deserve people that can love them entirely without sharing their love with someone extra? maybe it could be a good idea to choose? thats just my opinion, you do what you feel is right. xxxxx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Sorry about I don't think you ARE ready to "go all the way" if you are asking these questions. I mean come on, "long passionate sex" vs "hot mad sex"? Do it with the boyfriend or do with the ex? Sounds just a tad goofy don't you think? When the time is right you won't have all these little dilemmas.
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A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 If you can't decide between two boys, maybe you're not ready to lose your virginity. Wait until you're in a strong, loving relationship with only one person and then get it over with. It probably won't be great the first time - long passionate love is better than hot mad sex for losing your virginity, because the first time is not about orgasms and delight. It's about pain, plumbing, someone else breathing on you, and awkward moments. That's why it's so important to lose it to the right person - you can work on it together and turn it into something special, and even beautiful.
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A
female
reader, love really hurts me +, writes (18 July 2007):
If i was you i wud go with the boyfriend as you said you love him and you know he will still be there afterwards where as you said you and your ex has feelings for each other, he might want mad sex but he won't be there afterwards and it will destroy your relationship with your current boyfriend. Love making is always better then just mad sex, trust me i know, definitely go with and stay with the boyfriend, but also make sure you are definitely ready to go to that level.
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