A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend is 17 and i am 15 he said for me not to tell anyone about us going out because he thinks people will call him a perv for going out with me. i'v talked to him about it but he just doesn't want anyone to know and keeps changing his story about why he doesn't want to tell anyone.it is really annoying keeping it secret as the only time we can meet up is after dark in a park where no one can see us together it is starting to feel like he is embarrassed to go out with me. he keeps asking me for sexy photos of me and keeps asking if i would give him a blow job or have sex with him. i told him i don't want to do any of these and he got in a strop but after a while he has accepted this but now he still keeps asking me for sexy or naked pictures of me. do you think that he is just going out with me for all this and doesn't really have any feelings for me? should i dump him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): Hey :)
i have the exact same problem not joking except they guy im dating is my age.
talk to him more
make him know that your worth everything and show him what he could lose
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): If you do what this guy asks of you, you will regret it. He will show any nude or sexy pictures of you to his friend's. Do not have sex with this guy and drop him. He is not worth your time. He only wants to use you and then throw you to the side after he gets what he's after.
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A
female
reader, iSmil3y  +, writes (7 April 2009):
I agree with the other answers. It sounds to me like he is using you. If he won't take you out in public or doesn't want anyone to know he's dating you, Dump him! He is not worth it. You did the right thing by telling him you don't want to give him pictures or do anything you're not comfortable doing. Dump Him. There are better guys out there!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Yes, I agree with the first person who replied to your question. Even though you may not want to talk to others about this situation, I urge you to tell someone you trust: an adult, a parent, or teacher, and allow them to offer their guidance and support. You are not the first young girl to experience this situation and there is a lot of support out there in your own community if you ask for it. No one can help you if they don’t know what is going on and it is more likely to turn out better if an adult is firmly on your side. You can arrange for help anonymously (research counseling agencies available in your area) if you feel you have no one in your life that you can turn to, but usually we feel that way because we are embarrassed to reach out and not because there isn’t actually someone there for us to hold our hand, listen and understand.Adults often are more understanding about these things than given credit for because they have been through difficult situations themselves when they were your age and have learned from the experience.This young guy may indeed be simply inexperienced and immature when it comes to establishing a proper relationship with you, and may actually be harmless, but from what you describe there is a strong indication that he is not – so why take the chance to find out? You need to concern yourself only with what you have the power to control and that’s your behavior. Act immediately to protect yourself. His behavior is disturbing and could be a real threat to you. It is extremely dangerous to put yourself in harm's way to satisfy his need for secrecy. The fact that he wants to keep your “relationship” a secret makes me think he is aware that his behavior is not right. He must know, even if he has no experience with girls, that it is wrong to ask you for sex acts especially since he is aware of your young age and furthermore, he is treating you worse than a common hooker by asking you to pleasure him after dark in a park with no benefit of a real and openly public acknowledgment of a relationship. Good for you for not complying with him so far. Keep displaying your courage and good sense!:) Pay attention to your own life for now and use your time wisely to build yourself up by focusing on improving yourself and by spending time with people who have your best interests at heart. Trust is earned, and your instincts are telling you that this guy is not to be trusted. As for asking for sexy photos of you – no one with any good intentions would ask this of a fifteen year old girl. And God only knows where those photos might end up – he could put them on the Internet where he could use them to blackmail you and/or publically humiliate you! Does he like you? No. Does he care about your feelings or your safety? No. Is he embarrassed of you? No. His behavior says much more about him and does not reflect poorly on you, unless you tolerate it. If he has a shred of conscience, which he may, he would feel ashamed of himself and not want to risk the criticism he would undoubtedly be subjected to it the truth was exposed, therefore he demands secrecy. Don't be fooled by his behavior into thinking his interest in you is in any way flattering for it is not. In fact it is more than insulting. He is trying to use and exploit you. What is it about him that you find so appealing? What irresistible quality does he have that would make you even consider compromising your precious dignity? Is it ever acceptable that any guy might have the right to ask any girl demean herself for his selfish satisfaction? These are the questions you need to ask and answer for yourself. Perhaps you are feeling that his kind of attention is better than no attention, but I can assure you it is better to have no one in your life than to have the presence of someone destructive.If a friend told you this same story, what advice would you give? I imagine you would tell the friend that she would be far better without someone like him in her life. Be your own best friend. There are lots of guys who would treat you with respect but you first have to respect yourself. Always have the courage to stand up for yourself and in the future if a guy shows interest in you, don't be so quick to respond. Make him prove his worth before agreeing to become involved. Never allow anyone to demean you in the way that this guy is attempting to do.Let me be perfectly one hundred percent clear: No decent guy of any age would expect a girl to meet him secretly, at night, alone, anywhere, and expect sex or sexy pictures – no decent guy! Get away from him! Run fast in the other direction far away from this guy. If he doesn’t get the message, have an adult intervene on your behalf to tell him that they are aware of what has been going on. Your “secret” boyfriend needs to know that you don’t accept his poor behavior or his weird need for secrecy.. He needs to know that you have people on your side and that there is no excuse for his actions. You need to know it too. He is not someone you should play around with! Stay safe and Good Luck!:)From someone who cares!:)
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A
female
reader, vwomen +, writes (7 April 2009):
 I agree run very fast, his up to no good. If your not good enough to be out in public with your so called boyfriend, than baby he isn't worth your time. Find someone who will respect you, not hide you.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (7 April 2009):
 hun i would defo dump him he's probably asking you not to tell anyone so he can wait until he finds someone better.he's asking you for sexy photo's and things but not showing you any gratitude like he wants these things but doesn't want anyone to know you guys are together.he's probably waiting until someone better comes along i would definitely dump him hun.and do not send him sexy pictures as he may use them against you just to spite you or he may just send them around to his mates and call you names.he's not a nice guy.you definately deserve better than this hun!!if you need anymore help let me know :).chin up
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