A
female
age
36-40,
*arah135
writes:Hello! My boyfriend and I have been together for over four years and are now living together. Yesterday he opened up to me that he might want to date other people, to make sure I am the 'one.' By dating he means, take someone else out to dinner just to enjoy thier company, no sexual stuff involved. I believe him in that regard, he was a virgin when we met and had the opportunity to have sex but turned it down. I am very confused, he has always told me he can't wait to marry me and have kids and now I don't know what to think. We have been getting along great lately, whereas in the past things have been rocky. He wants to stay together and do this at the same time, I feel he should know by now if I am the one. grr... help? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): Your bf is asking permission to cheat on you....
Tell him that you also want to date other guys because you are not sure 'hes the one'.....
This guy is a jerk and you deserve better!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 September 2009):
He wants to date other people to make sure you're the one?
If you're the one, he'd know! I'm sorry, but this is out of order. It's more likely he's trying to play the field to see if he's missing out on anything else. Tell him no, he cant' date other women! And if he's willing to take another woman out to dinner for a date, he's willing to cheat. Don't believe that for a start. You're either the one or not. It's you, or you'll have to move on and find a guy who will treat you far better than this. Don't be fooled, he's looking to cheat.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (24 September 2009):
Please don't be this naive, your boyfriend is full of crap. So he wants you to wait around...be on the backburner while he gets to have have fun and see if you're "the one?" Give me a break, that is the biggest load of crap I've heard in a long time.
First of all, he WILL have sex with these other women that he wants to "date" and he probably WANTS to have sex with other women. While you stay at home being faithful and wondering what he's doing...I think you know this does not sound fair to you at all.
Second, you are correct. He should know if you're the one, with that being said, he isn't sure and he's trying to manipulate the situation and you. I'm guessing he's around your age? That is the time that people want to see what else is out there, especially after 4-years.
So this is what you need to do: tell him that you completely understand because you yourself are also unsure that he's the "one." And that you agree that you BOTH should see other people and cut off contact with one another because that would help be a deciding factor. Please do not wait around for this bozo. Let him go do what he needs to do, but in the meantime, you also need to do the same thing--even if you don't want to. You will probably discover someone that you will like much better.
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