A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met my boyfriend at a mutual workplace and chemistry immediately attracted us together. We have been a couple for one year now. From day 1, he told me that he had two children (twins) and wanted to make sure I still wanted to be in his life. I said yes, of course.We have our ups and downs, granted every couple does, but our biggest thus far is I am now 5 weeks pregnant with his child. His first words when I showed him the test was "we'll get it taken care of". I was hurt by it. I expected fear, and maybe even anger. But not neglect.I figured I would give him some time and we would talk about it later, and the same answer came back up. Abortion. I am against it, and expressed to him that that was not an option for me, but he will not stop pressuring me. I cant believe he could discriminate and choose which kids he would father. I completely stand by his concerns--heck they're the same ones running through my head. But i cant seem to fathom how "unmanly" he is being about this whole thing. He is 23 and originally from georgia where he met his children's mother, and when she learned she was pregnant with twins, she moved back to california with her family for support and when he saved money, he would follow. A year and half passed, they broke up. And he met me. Basically what i am trying to ask is i need advice. What should I do? my boyfriend wants nothing to do with our baby, and bluntly explained he would only be there for me if i had an abortion. since that is against my beliefs im forced to extremely consider adoption, or becoming a single parent. any advice would help.p.s.my parents house is not an option if i have a baby with me, and I have no family/friends willing to help me. I am afraid If i birth this baby, i will be homeless and CPS will eventually take the only good left for me
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female
reader, ctds001  +, writes (9 July 2010):
Look everything happens for a reason. You have decide what is best for you.
You will not be the 1st single parent without support or adoption is an option.
Only You can decide what is best, it will be something you will have to live with for the rest of your life.
Your boyfriend is not on the same wave length as you- ditch him ASAP
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (9 July 2010):
 CPS will not take your baby unless there are concerns of severe abuse or neglect. There are many community organisations out there to help single parents. If you go ahead with the pregnancy I would think you are going to be a single parent. If your boyfriend is saying he can only be with you if you abort, run away from this relationship regardless of what you decide about the baby! He is emotionally controlling and putting his own interests before your personal health and psychological well-being. It is no basis for a relationship together. Having an abortion is a very big decision for anyone - get counselling from the marie stopes organisation or a similar group. Your boyfriend already has kids at a young age with another woman and the relationship failed. He doesn't want another child to pay for and that is why he is pressurising you. If you do have the baby make sure you chase him for child maintenance payments - he was there at conception and must take responsibility for raising this child whether he wants it or not. If not having more kids was such a big deal for him he should have used contraception or not had sex at all!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): A father of three at the age of only 23? damn he is going to find it hard to find a young woman to take on three kids and two mothers! I think abortion would be the best for both of you. Why raise a baby without a father by your side?
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