A
female
age
30-35,
*crdofyou
writes:Okay so heres the thing, ive had a boyfriend for nearly 2 months, that I REALLY care about okay. So I knew he has a reputation of "getting around", but ive recently found out he went as far as messing with 14 nearly 15 year old girls! his HIGHSCHOOL SISTERS FRIENDS! Mind you, in Feb 2009 he will be 25, and this was just a year ago, making him 23!I really care about him, but I can stop seeing him as a disgusting pedophile! I'm sorry thats so blunt, but it disgusts me everytime I think about it! Can someone PLEASE tell me what they would suggest doing, move on or try to cope with the fact that I feel he's a pedophile?I mean, whose to say he wouldnt mess with my little teenage sister once she got around 14/15/16/17? I just turned 18 myself. I found out he was having 3somes with a 17 y/o girl when he was about 21 or 22, with a 40 y/o man. What would yall do?any help is GREATLY appreciated!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tndrfoot +, writes (9 December 2009):
He is a total exploitive scumbag plain and simple. Turn him in or he will keep doing it. How many lives is he going to ruin before he is stopped.
A
female
reader, scrdofyou +, writes (9 December 2009):
scrdofyou is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you Miss Nita. Actually, I just tried getting ahold of him to let him know im moving on, and what do you know--He's off wasted with some guy. I'm happy with all the support i've gotten from all of you, and the great advice, and as for the anonymous post correcting the pedophile term..I honestly dont care what technical name they use for it (not to sound rude at all), I just cant accept the fact that someone could do something like this.
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A
female
reader, Miss Nita +, writes (9 December 2009):
Oh my dear, you need to hang out with different people. This is not a small thing, like you said rape has destroyed the lives of many many people. It has taken me years to stop thinking the whys and hows if I could do anything it would be to stop you from wasting your time and energy. You are wise beyond your years, listen to your inner voice it will guide you.
You are a shining star of limitless possibilities. There will never be another you, you are an original, the only one of it kind Please brush this dirt off your shoes and go out and make good memories.
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A
female
reader, scrdofyou +, writes (9 December 2009):
scrdofyou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the help so far. Most people, when called on this subject, would say "everyone does it", which is one reason I was so skeptical as to whether I should be as disgusted as I am. And I understand alot of young girls think theyre ready, & want it, but the truth is, something so small can DESTROY you. I know from experience. Ive had so many problems with my sex life/love life ever since that man finally got me to do hat he wanted. I felt worthless afterwards, and it happened more than once.
How anyone could face themseves knowing theyve taken advantage of such a young girl is beyond me, they should know better being as old as they are that a girl that young just isnt ready.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): Get out and dont look back. Protect yourself and your little sister and consider his future victims if you stay quiet about this. This man has forced children to have sex with him. No young child has a chance against an adult who is bent on rape. Statutory rape is a felony. This man will eventually be caught and will face his crime. Your complicity ensures that he will destroy future lives. Get out and stay out and do the right thing and report this guy. He may be rehabilitated he may not, but thats not your business. Your business is to build the best life that you can for yourself with a man you are proud of. Yeah?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): For the record... he isn;t technically a peadophile. That word gets tossed around to easily.
If he was sexually abusing pre-teens or undeveloped females. then yu could use that word.
But a 15 year old is by no means undeveloped physically. So he would more logically be called an "Ephebophile". Its a real thing, look it up.
Don't get me wrong, its still icky and all sorts of wrong. But can we at least use the correct words for things?
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, scrdofyou +, writes (8 December 2009):
scrdofyou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe didnt tell me about it :[ His 16 y/o sister did. It was HER friend he screwed around with, I mean really, Why would you even consider messing with your highschool sisters friend?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): In response to your pm to me, no you are not overreacting or jealous.
The fact that there are so many men out there who do this does not mean it is normal behavior, there are a certain percentage of the population that have problems and don't care about rules or laws or people or lives of children.
Pedophiles if caught are arrested, do jail time, have their names put on a national registry of criminal sex offenders here in the states. And they are put on lifetime probation from having any contact with children. In fact in every community the police know where the pedophiles live and they even restrict them to be home bound on Halloween because it is a holiday where children roam the streets. This is a serious offense, and I am sure he has some redeeming qualities as a human being, but this behavior and the fact that he is almost proud of it telling you about it should be enough for you to run not walk in the other direction.
Just break up with him, no explanations required.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): He is a pedophile and his poor judgement about having illegal sex and taking advantage of girls much younger than he is spells volumes about his character all bad.
Stay away from him, trust your feelings, he is a loser.
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A
female
reader, scrdofyou +, writes (8 December 2009):
scrdofyou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI mean, how can anybody with any dignity be able to mess with someoen whose practically a baby still? I lost my virginity at 15 to a 25 y/o, and looking back now, I regret it, all of it, and it has effected me in more ways than one, no child that young deserves to be taken advantage of! I love him, but he repulses me! I dont know what to do! :(
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 December 2009):
Hm, he doesn't sound like a safe guy. might be better to move on now, not later.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): its up to you and how you feel about him whether you stay with him or not; as in do you feel strongly enough to stay with him and just accept this behaviour?
personally, i think he wont change and if it's something that concerns you then you should find someone else and move on. you're only young and you only live once so what's the point in staying with this man when you are clearly worried about the way he has behaved?
i think you'd do best to move on from him, but that's just my opinion x x
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