A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi it's a petty relationship question, but I just want to know if I'm off base here.Scenario:I'm driving in my car with my boyfriend(he is the passenger) and I happen to be listening to my favorite radio station. All of a sudden he leans over and turns off my car radio. When I ask him why he did that he said he couldn't stand the commercials. I was livid and turned the station back on. He was stunned that I was so angry, but I think whenever you're in someone else's car their radio station preference rules, unless you've discussed otherwise. By the way, he didn't ask me before he turned off the radio.I asked him if he was a passenger in his best friend's car would he do the same thing and he said "no" which made me even more angry.What is the consensus out there on this? I don't think I'm being a tyrant here.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): My ex used to do the same, and also if he was driving and I said I liked a song he would either change radio stations or sing so loud as to ruin it. He was a control freak and did many other things to just cause problems. He was dumped in the end.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): Have you listened to commercials these days? They suck so bad I'm surprised radios aren't getting smashed up more often. Stop trying to find problems where there are none, this isn't about control or disrespect, its just one man being pushed to breaking point with annoying radio commercials. Nothing to get angry over. What would you have done if he opened a window without your permission I wonder...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): Hey I think its very trivial my girl turns off the radio, changes channels and its fine by me I know she is just making herself more comfortable. I mean these are small things look at it this way he feels free to make himself more confortable with you because he is more closer to you than he is with his best friend. However you need to look for more control issues which I would be scared of. Take care and enjoy
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A
male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (5 February 2009):
 I'm with you!
When you're the pilot, you call the shots!
Don't touch the radio, the heater or the A/C. If they want something changed, they can ask!
I'd pull over and ask with a stern voice and a very straight face,"how do you feel about walking"? When he says no. Say,"then we have an understanding, don't we"!
Crank the tunes, right foot down and away we go!!!
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A
male
reader, aman +, writes (5 February 2009):
How does he feel about your music? If he doesn't like it and you are always listening to it in the car, I can see how he might want to turn it off once in a while, though it was a little rude not to ask.
Talk to him... if he really doesn't like your music and you drive most of the time, maybe try to strike a compromise where he gets to choose the station sometimes. If it isn't about the music, make sure he knows you don't like when he turns it off without asking you first.
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (5 February 2009):
 Hi there, have you noticed any other tendencies by your boyfriend to want to be in control? My feeling is that this is his way of trying to take charge by doing something irritating to you. He would like to be in the drivers seat and this is his way of acting out. Just a guess, but I think a good one. Take care. Your car your station would be my call. His car, his station. Stay cool.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 its your car. its your radio. your rules. however - no need to get livid about it!! yes its defo annoying and he shouldn't have done it but does he drive too? if so then force of habit, even if he doesnt, force of habit. if he does it again though lay the law and tell him its your radio and while your driving you get to listen to wat you want to.
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