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My boyfriend touching my breast didn't do anything for me

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 September 2016) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2016)
A female Australia age 18-21, *urious_girl_2003 writes:

Hello, I'm 15, and I'm still a virgin. My boyfriend of about 4 months and I have shared quite a few new experiences with eachother, and as of yesterday he had touched my breasts. My bra was on, and I have to say I didn't really feel the sensation. Of course I wouldn't know how it feels, but it didn't feel that good. He seemed to enjoy it though, so I let him keep going. Is it normal not to feel any pleasure when a guy cups your breast with a bra? Is without a bra more pleasuring?

View related questions: bra , breasts, still a virgin

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (28 September 2016):

fishdish agony auntI personally have very little breast sensation, boob stuff doesn't feel bad, but frankly, almost never feels good to me. So, I get the whole "I let him keep doing it because he seemed to like it" thing but worry because that is a slippery slope. I think you need to think about--before your next hang out-- what you are and are not willing to do Just Because he Likes It. Be aware of your own boundaries. Communicate those boundaries to him. He does not have free license to your body, it's important to speak up if you're not interested, invested, or otherwise into what is happening.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (28 September 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntWhen I was with my first boyfriend I felt every touch, that was because I waited until I was older and ready. At 15 I would not have felt anything because I simply was not ready to be sexual. So the question is do you feel you are ready? If you are not then ask him to wait. If you loves you he will, and if he refuses then wait for a guy who cares about you and how you feel.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2016):

I don't think you are ready for this type of intimacy. Please consider it carefully.. won't hurt to wait a few years.... Sorry, I'm old fashioned, but you're so young. Please love and protect your body.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2016):

It could be because of a padded bra that you didn't feel the sensation. Or maybe he was too rough and because of that you weren't in the mood.

Anyway you're only fifteen, you have a lot of time to have experiences such as these. Give yourself time and take things slow.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (28 September 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntOP, I'd like to tell you a little bit about my first time, as most of us can relate to the urge to lose our virginities too soon....

I was 19 and I had never had a boyfriend before. I waited until I was ready, as I'm very self-conscious. He waited for me - I felt no pressure. Every kiss and touch from him was like electricity running through my whole body, even with all of my clothes on.

That's how you know you're ready and with the right person. You're over the legal age of consent, there's no pressure from him or yourself, everything feels incredible and you go slowly. This was too fast, too grabby and your body is telling you you're not ready by not reacting to him in a pleasurable way.

Please, OP, don't let boys touch you so early on when you're so young; it will go further than you're ready for and you may not have the courage to say "stop" during it.

Almost nobody regrets waiting until they were a young adult, but many regret still being in their early/mid-teens, while they were still a bit naive and impressionable.

Stick to kissing and cuddling. If he expects more, he doesn't respect you and he's not right for you. Try not to grow up too fast; it'll be much better if you wait until everything feels right. Please have contraception ready, though, just in case you get caught up in it all and don't ever allow anyone to persuade you not to use it. Birth control and condoms at the same time are always best.

Next time, communicate to him that you'd like to take things slower and stick to PG for now :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2016):

It means you were allowing him to do it to make him happy, but you aren't really ready or into it. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. Maybe he was too eager or too grabby; and didn't make it pleasurable for you.

It's best not to let boys do things to you that you don't enjoy. You felt too guilty and like you were doing something wrong to really enjoy it. You were scared. So you shouldn't force yourself or allow anyone to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. It's your body, and no one does anything without your permission.

I think it's best to keep your bra on. Don't be in a hurry to lose your virginity. Too many young girls regret it; because they had a bunch of dumb ideas in their heads.

Take your time. Do things that feel right to you, and when you feel totally at ease doing them. Letting some stupid boy grab your boobs doesn't make you a woman. If he pressures you into doing things and you're not into it, he's just taking advantage of you.

Don't go feeling there's something wrong with you, and taking off more clothing just to please him. Yes, it might make him happy. Removing more clothing will lead to more than just touching your boobs. It has to register in your head to feel good.

If your head isn't right about it; and your heart isn't in it, your body doesn't enjoy it.

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