A
female
age
36-40,
*hatsOnlineDating
writes:I was dating a guy for 3 months, who I love, and knew was broke/unemployed.2 weeks ago, $15.00 was missing from my wallet. I thought I miscounted, so the next time he came over I took a pic of my wallet, so I knew for sure. $20.00 went missing, and nobody else was near my bag, and I never went anywhere. He took amounts that he figured I wouldn’t notice.He wanted to take me out to dinner, but I refused, as I knew he took the 20.00 and just told him something came up. After he left, I texted him telling him I knew he stole money from my wallet.It’s been 2 weeks, he never replied. Why wouldn’t he apologize or something? I thought we were serious and he loved me. I miss him, should I try to give it another chance? Or am I crazy?
View related questions:
money, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2017): Yes you are crazy. Completely as mad as a hatter.Your former boyfriend didnt even like you because he was out for what he could get.He had no respect for you.He wanted to use your finer feelings to his advantage.He wanted your cash and he wanted to spend it on you before spinning you a line about needing you to get money from the cash machine to lend him because he spent all he had on you.Literally his last cent and you have to put him up so that he can have sex and tell you that true love shares passwords and pin codes.But to totally insult him you proved you are smarter than him and took a picture and let him know.So now he cant fleece your bank account he is gutted but well fed and he has turned to option number two another gullible female and he is hoping that if he stays away from you he will be able to fleece option two who is perhaps more gullible than you are.There is no love in a sociopathic mind so naturally he doesnt mean a word he says.So revel in it because you got rid of him before he got your bank details and you know he has no idea what love is.Its a win/win for you because you probably wont meet worse unless he sends a friend to rope you back in.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (27 October 2017):
 OP, I'm sorry you've been hurt and had your trust broken, but you are old enough not to believe it's love within 3 months. It's clear you barely knew him and he is a thief.
Let him go, cut contact, don't expect an apology and move on. In future, please don't leave your purse lying around people who are still new in your life.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 October 2017):
 I understand that you are hurting at the moment because you really like this guy and you don't want to loose him. But you need to be honest with yourself here. Can you honestly forgive him for stealing off you and then not bothering to apologize once you find out?
Even if he stole it to get you both a meal out that does not excuse stealing. I would rather honesty in a relationship anytime. I have been broke and unemployed in the past, yet I have never stole from anyone. I would rather have beans and toast with someone who loved me than have someone steal from me.
This is your decision but honestly I think you will regret it if you make contact with him, because he will think he can just use you. You would be far better of staying away from someone who thinks it is okay to steal.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 October 2017):
 Firstly, you're not in love after 3 months. You barely know the guy.
Secondly, the dude is a thief, why would you want anything to do with him? What an absolute bum. Don't you think you could meet someone who won't steal your money?
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 October 2017):
 I was thinking the same thing that Honeypie remarks about : 20 dollars for taking you out ? Where ?
If there's somewhere in USA where two people can have dinner , tip included , for 20 bucks, restaurant prices must have really gone down in the last few years !
Anyway : curiously enough, in my language when you want to say that you are deeply ashamed and embarassed, you say
" mi vergogno come un ladro "- which is , literally, " I am as ashamed as a thief ". The - perhaps optimistic- assumption being that when people are caught stealing they will feel utterly ashamed.
In this case the assumption is true. He stole, he got caught, he feels utterly ashamed- that's why he preferred to disappear than attempting to give you his apologies or an explanation.
Not that this entitles him to your tenderness or lenience. In fact, if you give him a second chance, yes you are crazy.
You caught him twice, not once. It was not some exceptional , random, " never again " thing. It sounds more as if this could be his normal M.O. when he is strapped for cash. Or maybe not- but hopefully you do not want to stay around and risk finding out at your expenses that yes, this is his normal M. O.
And it was also so dumb, and uncalled for. You knew that he was broke , and he knew that you knew and did not mind. Could he not simplu have ASKED to borrow a little money ( Probably, the end result would have been the same anyway, i.e. you losing your money. Yet, a moocher is still better than a thief ).
So, he is broke and unemployed, he is a thief, a liar, and a coward. And you want him back, because ?...
Come on, do not aim so low. Do not sell yourself so short, I am sure you can do much better.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2017): This would be a deal breaker for me. I’d just be glad it was only 3 months and $35. just let it fade away. Before you know it you’ll barely remember him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 October 2017):
 Well, this is one way to weed out guys you should NOT want to date.
For a guy to STEAL money from you so he can "treat" you to a meal out? That is about as low as it goes... And $20? Would he have taken you to McDonald for a Kid's Meal?
I mean seriously?
He won't apologize because he is a weak guy and you hurt his ego by confronting him. He knows, that you know that he STOLE from you.
What you need to do is BLOCK and DELETE this guy. The stealing a small amount from your purse? Tip of the tip of the iceberg. The guy can't even own his actions. Instead, he starts to ignore you... like YOU did something wrong.
OP, he is a loser. Not because he is unemployed/broke - but because he thought he could get away with STEALING from the woman he is dating.
Be thankful you found out THIS early what kind of person he is.
There is NO excuse for his actions. I don't CARE if he is broke. You don't steal. And he didn't just do it once... He did it twice (that you know of).
Upward and onwards, OP.
You know that the SOONER you dump a bad apple you can go look for a good apple, right? If you hold on to a guy who does this to you... what else are you willing to accept?
You don't LOVE this guy. You have known him for 3 months. And he SURELY doesn't love you. Otherwise, he would NOT have stolen from you and he would not give you the SILENT treatment because he got caught. Don't WASTE any more time on this guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (26 October 2017):
 Can I also just say, 3 months makes someone almost a stranger.. if you've known him for that long, you basically don't know him at all. So take the rose glasses off and start thinking with your head.. also from your name if you were talking to him online, well that doesn't count as you can say literally ANYTHING without meaning it from a keyboard
...............................
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (26 October 2017):
You are crazy to even think of giving him another chance- not only is he a thief but he doesn't even give you the courtesy of apologizing OR paying you back.
Shows how much respect he has that he steals from you and can't even FACE UP to you. What a serious loser.
If he is not ill there is NO reason why he can't get a job.. even a part time 15 hours a week would *hopefully* prevent him from taking money out of his woman's purse! Really can't believe what I'm hearing.
I bet he lives at home with his mama rent free, and feigns "he has absolute nothing"
And even if he was homeless, STEALING IS STEALING.
I may sound like a judgmental bitch but I believe in the welfare state and giving what you can to help those that are *less fortunate* sometimes at your own expense. However nobody has a right to take money from you without your consent.. it might seem like small amounts but it would have added up to a lot more if you hadn't of caught him! That leaves YOU worse off.. and someone who loves you would NOT be trying to pull the wool over your eyes
You might love him but he doesn't love you. He is a thieving cheating rat and he is taking advantage of you
...............................
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (26 October 2017):
You are crazy to even think of giving him another chance- not only is he a thief but he doesn't even give you the courtesy of apologizing
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (26 October 2017):
 You caught him out. You revealed him as a small time thief. He's is embarrassed and ashamed of himself, and now he can't look you in the eye or even txt you. That is because not only is he a thief but he is gutless too.
Let's put it in proportion it is the kind of thing a child might do - steal from their mother's purse. I have seen it at a supermarket checkout.
I'm not sure you can straighten this out. He took two wrong turns: the stealing and then running away when you confronted him. He is still a baby. You need a man.
...............................
A
female
reader, holeymoley  +, writes (26 October 2017):
 Bullet dodged if in fact that is without a doubt correct. No matter how poor or unemployed you are. Stealing is stealing and him doing it right under your nose is him taking you for an absolute idiot. Don't prove him right trying to get back with him. If you were wrong, I doubt it from your post, and you outright accused him then I think it is safe to say you pretty much fucked it, no real coming back from falsely accusing someone. Good luck finding a more honest suitor.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sc0user +, writes (26 October 2017):
Nope your crazy. This guy sounds like a real winner. You know yourself he stole from you, you have proof no only suspition. He ain't even got the respect for you to man up and be honest once you confronted him with it. Move on darling, I'm sure you could do much better.
...............................
|
