A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: my boyfriend and i have a good relationship till recently. theres a few things from my past that bother him. he feels as though im a slut. there were only two guys i had done things with, i never slept with anyone until him. i love him so much but i wish he could get over my past. and its not like he hasnt been with other girls too. i just wish he could accept my past as i did his. what should i do, i want to make things right? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): He's a bit selfish and completely self-centered. I really don't think that he loves you, he's in love with the idea of being in love. Also he has some issues if he thinks you're unclean somehow. He's never going to get over it, I think and will hold it against you for the rest of your time together. Time to move on and chalk him up to a bad experience. He's not the guy for you. I don't think that there's anyway for you to fix this because he has got the idea that he needed to be 'first' in his head and that will not go away.
Sorry.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice guys.
but now hes telling me he thought he would be the first to do everything with me, that i was "untouched". that he would be my first for everything. and he thinks that hes not special now, bc he wasnt my first for oral, so he says that im not "clean" to him. this isnt fair. we love each other more than anything, and want to spend the rest of our lives together, but he says he doesnt know how that will be unless he can get over it....?
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A
female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (18 June 2008):
You are not a slut, you are a girl who deserves alot more respect than this. You shouldnt need to keep explaining yourself, be firm, tell him everyone has a past and if he dosent like yours then that is his problem.
Sometimes, speaking your mind is the best thing to do. In this case that very much applies.
Dont be ashmaed of yourself, its your boyfriend with the issues.
xxx
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A
female
reader, bammy  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 hey, if your boyfriend thinks of you in that way then he isn't worth the relationship, I mean, your right,I'm sure he had girlfriends in the past as you've had boyfriends in the past. I don't see a big deal with that. Relationships should be built on trust,respect & honesty therefore he should RESPECT the fact that you were HONEST in the first place to discuss your previous relationships with him. It takes time to gain trust in any relationship. Try sitting down with him when you feel the time is right. Let him know how much you love him & how hes special to you let him know that you trust him & that you deserve the respect from him to trust you too. Give it time & if communication doesn't work then hes not worth having you honey
Best of luck keep me updated x
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Personally i think that your boyfriend has got to get over his own insecurities, otherwise he is going to risk pushing you away.
I mean you only did things with two other guys and you never slept with anyone until him, in my book that makes you far from being a slut.
When we meet people you would be very hard pushed to meet someone who has not had any sort of connection to a member of the opposite sex. Your partner is acting like you slept with a whole football team, and the subsitutes before you met. I think he has got to accept that you have got a past, like everyone has, and deal with it.
All the best x
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