A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please comments, advise, help. What should I do?I have been talking to this guy online for about 3 months, we say we like each other and that we are deeply in love. We wanted to meet and we had set up to meet in December but I was able to get the money before so we have been talking about meeting this coming July. The thing is that our friend who he knows in person and I know only online(4 years chatting with him) has been telling me that online relationships are stupid and that me and my 'bf' are very childish and that we do not know eachother for long. My fried tells me that my 'bf' and I can't possibly be in love since we don't know eachother and we have only been talking for 3 months. So, now I feel like our friend might be right and I feel as if my 'bf' won't like me when we meet. We have talked on the phone, we have been on webcam, we chat everyday for hours until we go to bed... but I still feel like he might not like me. My 'bf' says that he won't change his mind, but people change, right? Should I listen to our friend or should I listen to what my 'bf' says? Any help and comments are appreciated.
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female
reader, nicole_007 +, writes (20 June 2008):
 I understand you completely on this subject. I've been talking to a guy for about 3 1/2 years online, and I'm meeting him in August. We're pretty serious about dating and possibly me moving to where he is if we hit it off. There is nothing wrong with meeting/dating someone online, but as I am going to do, meet him in a public area and see if there's any chemistry... who knows, you could end up marrying this guy someday :) best of luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah.. well, I met him through an online friend who I used to play a game with. So, he just happens to live far from where I live. We have talked about it and we said that if we really become something more serious then one of us is willing to move. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, it just happened that we started to chat and like eachother.
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 The only way to find out is to meet up. Ignore everyone else, if its right then all will be fine.
Its no different to meeting a guy in a club or pub or anywhere. You meet and you are attracted and you make a date. Half way through the date you probably know if you want to see this guy again or not. The added bonus you two have is that you have already gone through the first round, know lots about each other and already feel that connection. Go through with it otherwise you could miss out on real happiness x
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (18 June 2008):
 First of all, ignore everyone else! Don't let them invade your happiness with their negative rhetoric!! I mean, were they over your shoulder while you were web-phoning? Did they read your messages back and forth? No!!
There are a few facts you should know -- in these "modern days" MANY people are using the internet to connect, meet, chat, get advice (um, where are you now?) and improve themselves. There is no reason why the internet can't be used as a medium to find somebody and develop a love? In some ways, I think it's an even better way. Where else are you forced to be a conversationalist and be forced to express your emotions in text? I see it as a way as cutting straight to the core of somebody's inner most thoughts and emotions.
That said, if you'd rather keep your original plans for meeting in December over meeting in July, then stick to those plans. I think that you should meet face to face even sooner... just imagine if it goes well? Can you see the conversations in the middle of the night now?
The only other thing in my mind is that I'm glad that you were using a web-phone and not exclusively relying on pictures. If anything, you've already met face-to-face (virtually) so you know there's no issues with covering up physical attributes (don't laugh - it happens!). I am thinking that 3 months is a little short, but if you've been carrying on a conversation for that long, day after day, that's good. I would just make one last recommendation (and this is a safety issue): please meet in public locations for your safety. Yes, you've been sharing your thoughts and emotions with this guy, but it doesn't hurt to treat this as a "first date" situation. You wouldn't meet a hotel room or some other secluded mountain-side retreat on a first date, would you? Exercise the same proper judgement here as well.
Best of luck and (in my opinion) you've got a world of happiness that could be opening up for you... I'm jealous! :)
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