A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HeyMy boyfriend tends to flirt with other girls every now and again. He doesn't have a wandering eye at all, he just says sweet stuff to other girls. And what he says seems very very harmless to me, but I want the opinion of guys to see if there are others who do the same and it is not supposed to mean anything, and girls, to see if there are others who have the same thing happening and if it bothers them. I don't want to tell him not to do it because it seems so harmless and it doesn't really bother me that much. I'm just wondering if it should be bothering me? is it a bad thing?? For eg. he "described" a girl (not close to him) on facebook using the describe me application - he described her as "sweet". Stuff like that.And there was another friend of his on facebook (again not that close) who referred to herself as a "sexy consultant" so in his next message to her he referred to her as a "sexy consultant".. and he wrote something about a friend of his thinking that they are dating and that he cleared the misconception and said they are just friends. Now even if thats true, there was no need to tell her about it! It didn't bother me, but again that is flirting. I just want to know if its a bad thing. (We have been dating for 6 months - it has been said that we are exclusively dating each other only, but nothing about love or commitment - it is a little early for that)
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you soo much for your responses. it makes me feel so much better!
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 Hi
I think if something is a problem for you, then its a problem. If you think its a tad too much you need to have a chat with him.
I was with a guy that stared at women more than chat them up, but i wasnt happy about that. Didnt make any diff when i told him! But still lol
If you are just seeing each other i guess he feels its acceptable. I mean, if i had been with a guy for 6 months i wouldnt be comfortable with him messaging girls on face book full stop! But thats just me, and that would be a problem for me. If it isnt a problem for you dont worry about it.
I dont think it totally means a guy will cheat.
He might well just like the attention he gets back.
C xxxxx
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A
male
reader, Zim +, writes (22 August 2007):
 I do something similar to this. I like complimenting or making fun of women who are friends but i'm not going out with. Admittedly I don't go out of my way to do it but I still do.
That facebook thing sounds to be okay to me. Where he said she was "sweet", I think that was his objective view of her if that makes sense. It certainly doesn't sound like flirting to me.
About the "sexy consultant" bit I think he was just making fun of her comment. About the friend who thought your bf and this "sexy consultant" were going out, your bf most probably wanted to clear things up before this friend of his thought there was any real credit to the story, slipped up and asked her. That would have caused some conflict and would have made you suspicious. He was probably trying to preserve your current relationship.
However, these people aren't that close to your bf. Saying that, I sometimes leave amusing flirtatious comments on facebook walls to people I haven't seen in a while but am still in contact with. It might simply be the fact that he knows how to amuse them or wind them up. How did you know he had said those things to them? Do you have access to his profile or are they within your extended network? If so, and even if this isn't the case I would exercise a little caution. Sometimes just thinking of the worst can make you believe it so there's no point spying on what he's saying as it will make you paranoid. After all, would you like him to do it to you?
If he begins to start meeting these people on a regular basis, then and only then i'd start to worry. Some people do flirt for the purpose of "going behind their gf's back" but I don't think this is happening in your case. To be honest, it just doesn't sound that dodgy to me.
But in answer to your question, I don't think its abnormal. I don't do it much but I just consider it a bit of fun, almost like what i'd do to my male friends, just joking around.
It is good that you are worrying about these things early on. It shows that you care for him. However, I would recommend no more "stalking" through facebook (I know its hard, I used to do it:-)). It will only feed your fear and make the problem worse.
I hope that helps.
ZIM
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): i'll tell u sumthing ur boyfrnd likes to be liked by the opposite sex thats all...m in a relationship too and m quite a flirt myself but my girlfrnd doesnt hav any probs...feel secure abt him..i dont kno ur guy completely but normally guys do al this just to be liked...so i say chill out...if ur really serious abt him then my advice 2 u is go n tel him how u feel..believe me conversation helps...:)
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