A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend tell me it's time to give your virginity I cannot wait it's has been 10 months we are together I know he is my boyfriend and has the right but am scared of my parent if one day know about it ?? my boyfriend don't have a good job my parents want me to get married to a good men who has a good job but me I trust my boyfriend so much but am scared if one day we don't get married with him or my mom dad don't accept him. I get sad sometimes my boyfriend ask me how much I have to wait ummm you know I love u, why can't u give me your virginity.. Am confused help me please Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (10 May 2018):
 Just because he is your boyfriend, does not mean that he owns you or has a right to take your virginity.
He seems like he really just wants to sleep with you and let me tell you; you aren't ready so don't do it. If he keeps pressuring you then break up with him because if he can keep pressuring you against your wishes then he doesn't deserve you and he has no respect for you.
I hope that you make the right decision.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2018): A guy will do or say anything to get you in bed.Once he gets your virginity he will brag to anyone who will listen and after that he Will dump you and move on to the next challenge.Do not do it.You cannot get this back.I would wait.If he keeps pressuring you that just means he does not really care about you and just wants to use you for sex.If he really cared about you he would respect your feelings and stop pressuring you.A job has nothing to do with this.Educate yourself about safe sex.Go on birth control.That does not mean you have to have sex but if you ever do it is just smart.Remember though sometimes birth control fails.I have my daughter because it failed.So are you ready to be a mom? If you have sex that could be the result.what would you tell your parents then?Think about this really think.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2018): I'm old enough to be your grandfather so if any adult male relative hasn't told you a universal truth, then let me: A guy will say ANYTHING if he thinks it will get a girl into bed with him, and if she does give in then he'll be blabbing to all his friends about what an easy lay she is.
I'm guessing sweet-talking hasn't worked so now he's trying coercion instead.
NEVER let a guy pressure you. If he doesn't let up then tell your parents.
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A
female
reader, Soulstar +, writes (8 May 2018):
Looks like you love him more than he loves you. You are willing to give up something that is yours to a man who has nothing to give up for you.
First of all when a man truly loves you, he will wait eagerly for the time when he can proudly call you his. To do that he will change himself without you asking. He will be mature and stable and get himself into a good job to sustain your lives and to provide for your needs. He will seek to earn the respect and love of your family and friends by showing then that he is a worthy man. He will treat you as the treasure you are.
If he cannot even take care of your basic needs, but demands things of you, he is being selfish. If he is demanding sex of you when you have your concerns and value system (you want to wait and not hurt your parents by doing this), it shows he has little respect or love for you. He is treating you like a target to be 'won' or 'conquered' and once he has done that, you can be sure he will give you much heart-ache.
Your virginity is not his to demand. It doesn't belong to him even if he is your boyfriend. It belongs to you and you choose to give it to the man who will be yours and to whom you will be bonded in covenant commitment. That covenant is the covenant of true love.
Don't throw yourself away and waste time with a man who doesn't love you the same way as you love him. Don't measure his love by the gifts he gives or the words he speaks. See how he treats you - is it with love, respect and honor? Only such a man is worthy. Move on - it won't be easy but it won't be impossible either. Each day focus on somethings positive to build your own life and you will find the strength to move on from him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2018): he's wasting no time!
When you are ready my sweet girl. And no sooner should you give your purity away.
When you (dear girl) are ready.
Do not let him push you and say that it would be right for you both to be married first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2018): Your boyfriend has no "right" to your virginity and what he is doing is close to emotional abuse. He is pressuring you into doing something that you don't want to do of your own free will. The fact that you think he has this right shows us that you are emotionally confused and - sorry - not mature enough to make the best decision for yourself right now.It doesn't matter how long you have been together - 10 months or 10 years - he still has no right to your virginity and still has no right to pressure you in this way.You feel sad when he pressures you because this is your intuition telling you what your brain doesn't seem to have understood - that you don't want to have sex with him and his pressure is not evidence of love but his own selfishness. Anyone who genuinely loved you would NEVER put this kind of pressure on you. He is making sex feel (for you) like something that you have to 'give' to him. It shouldn't feel like this. It really should feel like something that you want to do, with no pressure involved whatsoever from anyone or anything. That's when you will be ready.Do NOT fall into the trap of starting to pressure yourself just because you are being pressured by this selfish person. Don't give into him physically and don't give into him mentally - he is worming his way into your confidence by making you doubt yourself and causing you confusion about your rights.When you really are ready - and I doubt it will ever be with this person because he is not treating you with respect or like an equal - you will know it because you will feel almost the exact opposite of what you feel right now. That feeling is very precious because it is a feeling strong connected to your choice as a woman and your power as a woman. Wait until you have that feeling and please, please end this relationship with this selfish person. Believe me, all he will do is move onto another young woman to have sex with - he may kick up a fuss for a while and try to make you feel guilty but gather your strength together and wish him 'goodbye'. Find someone who never pressures you in this way.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (7 May 2018):
 Sweetheart, he has NO "right" to demand your virginity if you do not want to give it him.
How disappointed and upset will your parents be if you fall pregnant?
Tell him you will tell him when you are ready and, until then, the answer has to be NO.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 May 2018):
 You don't sound ready at all. Not for sex, and I think you need to be honest about that with your BF.
He isn't OWED sex from you. He spend 10 months with you so far and no sex, so what's the hurry now?
I think you might want to consider that this guy is NOT really thinking about how this makes you feel only about what HE wants.
You are 16-17? So really, there is NO hurry to have sex.
It might be you and HE and not really all that compatible in many areas.
If you parents expect you to stay a virgin until marriage you HAVE to decide if that is what YOU want or not.
The thing is, this BF might NOT be the guy you marry. what you want in a partner (BF) at 16-17 is DEFINITELY not what you want in a partner (husband) in your mid-late 20's or later.
You don't think it's also WAY early to consider marriage?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 May 2018):
 A large number of people who have sex as young as you are end up regretting all or most of it. Sex can be amazing, but it usually just causes a lot of heartache at your age.This love is teenage love. The love you will feel as an adult will be completely different. This isn't likely to be the guy you marry, so you need to decide if having sex and him telling his friends is worth it. You will be judged, but he will not.If you do decide to have sex, get on birth control EVERY DAY for a few months BEFORE having sex and ALWAYS use condoms. Do NOT risk pregnancy or STDs. You CAN get pregnant on your period. You CAN get pregnant on your first time. You CAN get pregnant even if he doesn't ejaculate. You CAN get pregnant even if you barely put his penis in you.Go to the doctor to discuss safe sex BEFORE having sex. If you will not do this, you are NOT ready to have sex. Be mature about this. He does not NEED sex. If he leaves because you won't do it, he doesn't love YOU; he just wants sex.It will not be romantic or kept secret.
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