A
female
age
30-35,
*ost_Hearts
writes:My and my boyfriend have been together for about 19 months now, i love him to bits, we have been through so much together. We have broken up and made up so many times but we always laugh them off and we have a special connection. Were like best friends most of the time but.. throughout the relationship he has been up and down i just don't understand what goes through his head sometimes. He can be very controlling and selfish and verbally abusive and sometimes he can be the sweetest guy in the world and caring and loving and not controlling. he promises that he would be the best boyfriend ever and other times he says "i am the way i am f*** off if u dnt like it" because i know his sweet caring side the real side of him i think..i find it hard to accept that im better off without him. im so troubled and confused its sending me mad, i feel so lost and crazed. he breaks up with me whenever he feels like it + comes back after a few days saying everytink will be for the better. now hes getting extremly distant from me saying that i bring out the bad side in him and i cant make him happy anymore and that im a waste of time. all i have ever done is stand by him accept his abuse and love him. im stuck! please help!?
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, UnhappyThoughts  +, writes (2 January 2017):
So my boyfriend did the same thing but hun he's probably just butt-hurt or maybe he and a friend got into an argument and he's putting his anger and emotions all onto you. What he's doing is blaming you for stuff that probably happened before you walked into his life. And girl you were probably the best thing that happened to him, if he says you bring out the bad side in him then give him space. If he still acts like a 5 year old then don't wast YOUR time on him. And yes I know that you don't want to hear it, I mean who does but I'm going to say/type it anyways...you need to think about if you did anything and if not then it's him all him he needs to loose you and then maybe he'll realize that your everything. With guys it's different, they don't like to express a lot of there feelings to women and if they do, that doesn't mean he's a softy it just simply means he's being honest with you and hopes that you'll understand and if your man can't tell you how he really feels then he's nonor hiding something but maybe he's the guy who bottles crap up. All I'm saying is don't lose him completely but give it time and space AND absolutely NOT do not let him grow and realize his mistake... he's not a plant!! The only mistake he'll be making is giving up you! I get that no matter what your friends say you'll always want to be with him and that's it. You want him and only him no matter what, I get it l. But seriously talk to him and ask him about how he feels and if he doesn't tell you anything or won't then walk away or something that means he wants space or he is hiding something or is just stubborn either way be the women in you and we'll women up to him. Good luck to you.
A
female
reader, abcdefghi +, writes (9 December 2010):
Hey Hun, your in the exact same boat as me, my boyfriend says I'm a total waste of time, my boyfriend slams phones down on me, ignores me when I call him, calls me insulting disgusting things, and he also tells me the same "if you don't like who I am then fuck off" and also "you've turned me into this horrible person etc" but we can't leave the. Because we love them and we believe that when we see their nice side that is what we fall for and stay with xxx do u cry nearly everyday like me? Xxxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, sevennyne +, writes (3 November 2010):
I am going through the same thing and they won't change. Once the abuse starts it will only get worse. They know we take it and how we react. My ex said the same stuff to me and for some reason I would always come back to him and cry to him. I didn't do this in the beginning because I was strong. Does being nice 2 percent of the time cancel out his being abusive the other 98 percent? These men are master manipulators. Stat strong and get away from him.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 March 2010):
There is no special connection between you two. All there is between you two is the abuse he gives and the abuse you take. Do you really believe he will change? No, he won't. There is nothing here that is happy or safe. All you're doing is wasting your life on a guy who genuinely doesn't give a damn that you exist. Dump him, end all contact and move on. Either that, or waste your life.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lost_Hearts +, writes (29 March 2010):
Lost_Hearts is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your advice its given me alot to think about :) x
...............................
A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (29 March 2010):
I think for a moment you need to look on this from an outside perspective. Imagine this was a friend of yours asking you what she should do if she was in your shoes.
If i was your friend I would be telling you that you are young, you have no ties to this boy and can you honestly see yourself spending the rest of you life with him happy?
This man does not appreciate you or love you because if he did then he would treat you with the respect you deserve. you have only been going out for just over a year and a half and you have already broken up on numerous occassions and you yourself use the word abuse to describe your relationship.
I think it is time you call an end to this relationship and find a man who loves you and treats you with the respect you deserve and stops playing these head games.
you have the rest of your life ahead of you so spend the rest of you life with a man you love and live happily.
...............................
|
