A
female
age
36-40,
*inaki
writes: my boyfriend is almost perfect and we have great time..sometimes he is the one how seems to love me more and he treats very nice to me..BUT when we have a fight he becomes incurious and he seems that he doesn't really cares to work it out soon.. he prefers for that day to do things with his best friends than talk and solve the problem..he says that he want to calm and he is not in the mood to talk right now.. but the day after..even if I cry at the call he says that he can't do anything right now.I found it cruel and I want help!!!thanks
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female
reader, ashana21 +, writes (23 February 2010):
i think he just feels overwelmed and he needs his space, but u should wait for u both to cool down, and maybe slowly bring it up at a more apporpriate time
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (22 February 2010):
You have to realize... we don't all solve problems in the same manner.
YOU want to sit down and work them out right away.
HE prefers, probably, to think or talk them over with his friends before coming back to you. It could also be that he just HATES conflict and doesn't want to have to deal with it... until absolutely necessary.
You have just found this ONE thing that you're both probably not going to see eye to eye on... and you'll just have to get used to his style of arguing.
I know this sounds harsh... but really... you can't make him resolve issues as you would. To do so would just make him resent it... on the other hand you shouldn't have to suffer through his argument style either - that'll just make you resentful. Once you have all your issues resolved... you both need to figure out... how to argue so that neither of you are resentful of the other when you have fights.
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