A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! What can you do if your bf told you that your ugly? I have beem with my bf for 3yrs, last year he told that im ugly and he don't know why he's in love with me, he says may is because of im good in sex, i was realy hurt and after that he asked to forgive him and a forgave him because i love him, he bought me expensive gift to say he's sorry. But i always think about that things,i fil like may be he doesn't love me the way i am.plz help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 Do you trust that he has never cheated on you? If he has stayed true to you then I don't think he is with you just for sex, he has been with you for 3 years. It was said in a fight. We all say hurtful things in fights. He was particularly immature to say something for the sole purpose of hurting you, but when that was his intentions he could have easily made up a lie. Meaning: what he said doesn't have to be true.
It was said last year, how has he acted in fights since then? Has he said more hurtful things? If he hasn't then I believe he has learned his lesson. Everyone deserves a second chance. But not more than one extra chance. If he slips up like this many times you really should leave. It is no way to solve a fight by disrespecting the other and intentionally hurt them.
A
male
reader, fozzish +, writes (3 October 2010):
if he was not drunk, he knew what he was doing, he knows what makes you feel insecure and vulnerable, and this is a break of your trust, he shouldnt want to hurt you in anyway, this person is not a man but a pathetic little boy.
Only you know what is right in your heart and what you really want.
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A
female
reader, JackieW0719  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 It appears that your boyfriend is abusive and immature. Telling you that you're ugly and then buying expensive gifts to make up for it is abusive.
You deserve much better than that, no one has the right to call you ugly, even in anger.
Find someone else who appreciates your beauty and doesn't have to stoop to name calling when he is angry. You deserve so much more!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice
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A
female
reader, blindbetty +, writes (3 October 2010):
 You know what is sad...you are keeping yourself from Mr. right. This person you say you love is manipulating you and filling your subconscience with lies to keep you there.
If you are good at sex give it to someone who honors you and gives you real love in return and not expensive trinkets when he hurts you.
He is walking on your soul, and you know it's wrong or you wouldn't be on here asking for advice....there are so many men out there and he is only one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe was not drunk, he says he was just want to say something that wil hurt me because we were fighting
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 Maybe you are the pretty one and he is ugly. The soul is the one that's ugly or pretty. the rest is vapor
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A
male
reader, fozzish +, writes (3 October 2010):
one thing i know is that the person your with is the person you can trust and be yourself around, so to me that is absoluetly disgusting behaviour by your b/f.
Like chigirl has asked, why did he say this, were you rowing, drunk.
and i also think chigirl is right in saying you need to know the truth once and for all, so you can either forgive and forget, or move on without him.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (3 October 2010):
Maybe you should take your gut feeling seriously. How often has he said these things? Was there anything circumstancial at the time he confessed he thought you were ugly? Was he drunk perhaps, or ill, and not thinking straight?
In the end you can not continue this relationship if you keep thinking about this. It will continue to bring you down. So either you must leave him, or forget that he ever said what he said and get over it. If you are leaning towards leaving him, perhaps you should have a serious talk about this first and hear what he has to say. Tell him you don't want appologies, you want the truth.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (3 October 2010):
 Well, he DOESN'T love you. Buying you an expensive gift just to forgive him so he can still have sex with you it's the most PATHETIC behavior. He's treating you like this because you accept him around, with his insults. Love is about accepting the others' flaws and nasty parts. Do you see yourself as ugly? You might, because he probably made you FEEL ugly. That doesn't mean you are. He is just using you for sex and what I don't understand is, if you are 100% aware of these things, why are you still with him. I don't understand you.
You WILL find someone who can appreciate you like you deserve. Don't let anyone put you down like this. They have no right to do that. I bet he's butt ugly, and he feels insecure, so he puts you down because he's frustrated and he needs to take it on somebody. But PLEASE don't give him the opportunity again to make you feel like s**t. No counseling, nothing. Just dump him.
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