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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of over 6 years recently decided that he needed to take a break from our relationship to find out who he is. He said he wasn't sure if I was "the one" because I'm the only person he ever dated. He also said he felt as though he was wasting my time because I am ready to take the next step and he's not ready for marriage at all. We decided to take a break and not see other people while he figures things out. Now he's showing no sympathy for what he did. Should I just move on?
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female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (13 August 2005):
Of course you're feeling despondent about how your ex. Six years is a great length of time to date somebody, and naturally in that period you have begun to make plans for the future and for settling down with this guy. For him to suddenly drop a bombshell like that must have affected you very deeply. You will probably fear what the future has in store for you. At the moment you're coming to terms with the fact that your dreams of having a future with this man are shattered, and your the life you have led for the last six years will change. You will probably feel cheated and lost.
I assume that you have had some contact with your ex since the split as you mention that he has confirmed the relationship is over. The "break" to clear his head seems an excuse to not have to tell you it's over, and his behaviour thereafter suggests that from his point of view, the relationship is over.
Sadly, though you are ready for commitment he evidently is not and unfortunately there is absolutely nothing that you can do to change his mind.
For your own sanity and peace of mind, take time to recover from the break up and have no contact with him whatsoever. In time you will feel ready to start rebuilding your life again, and hopefully find someone who has the same hopes and dreams as you do.
Good luck
A
female
reader, Ann +, writes (13 August 2005):
I think you should if he does not know who he is and that he is not ready for marriage and you are. You must make a choice for you and what will make you happy. So do what you think is best in your heart.
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A
reader, pops +, writes (13 August 2005):
Yes.
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