A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This may sound like an odd question , but what do you think it means that my boyfriend never acts jealous or even shows that he's jealous?Is he just super secure , good at hiding it - or just not that into me?We've been together 6 months and he tells me he loves me. I do not play games or give the wrong impression, so he has very little reason to be jealous. I pick up when he calls - I tell him what Im doing voluntairly. I guess maybe I'm not used to it? My last two boyfriends before were Latino and were the other extreme - possessive and finding problems when there was no reason to be jealous.Guys? Girls? What do you make of this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): I think jealousy is about 'self' and does not reflect the level of love one feels. Jealousy highlights insecurity of 'self' so it's not even really about the person. It does not mean he thinks any less of you, i would not push this by playing games or you will end up with egg on your face. Enjoy the freedom to be you, it is a great blessing to not have the ego's green eyed monster ruin the relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): Jealousy is horrible OP. He's not jealous because it sound like he's secure and that's because you're open and honest with him and not a game player.
Please don't fall into this 'cosmo' inspired bullshit idea that if your boyfriend isn't jealous then somethings wrong. It's not, it means you're doing everything right and it means he trusts you enough to feel secure with you. It's not a bad thing.
Jealousy never equals desire. Whatever idiot came up with that idea has messed up far too many relationships for people. I've had exes that tried that crap and it's horrible. A girl/guy who intentionally tries to make their partner jealous so they can feel desired is an immature game player and not worthy of dating.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 June 2011):
He's secure. Thank God for that, now you have a nice, normal boyfriend who won't act like a nutcase!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 June 2011):
 I think your exes caused you to have some weird ideas about how relationships are supposed to be.
If he has nothing to be jealous of why shouldn't he simply trust you? You are trustworthy, he trusts you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011):
What has he to be jealous of? What were your old boyfriends jealous of that he isn't?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): Exactly that, if you are not a jealous person then the other partner feels freer, last caged in. When I act jealous around my partner he hates it. When I act free he loves it, and I can wrap him around my little finger.
Can I ask, do you WANT him to be jealous? Are you jealous of his non-jealousy?! Ha...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): My bf is the same and I think it is really healthy. Jealousy is definaetly a negative emotion and I disagree that some jealosuy is healthy; it's not.
I'm a jealous person and it definitely stems from insecurity, not good. I'm working on it.
I think people who are more 'well-rounded individuals' are less prone to jealousy.
Interesting question though. Be interesting to see what kind of replies you get....
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