A
female
age
30-35,
*abyyblonde
writes:Ok, so...I have been dating this boy for 6 months. At first, he was amazing. He complimented me all the time, and he made me feel like a princess. However, over the last few months, he has started making little comments that are starting to break down my self esteem. He told me I needed to get abs, and a better butt. He tells me the girls at our school that he thinks are hot, and models or celebrities that he sees on tv or his computer. He'll tell me my butt isnt as good as some other girls, or that I should grow my hair our, or that he wishes I was a brunette. Even if he SAYS he loves me the way I am, I find this so hard to believe when all I see is him looking at perfection. I know I am an attractive person, and I never had perfect self esteem, but now its just through the floor. I hate feeling like he's just settling for me. I want to be the best for him. But even though Ive expressed how these comments make me feel, he wont stop them, and continues to put pictures of naked girls on his backgrounds, etc, that he knows make me feel inferior. Feeling this way about myself all the time makes me angry and lash out at him, and I can see it is starting to afffect our relationship. He says Im overreacting. My question is.... am I? Is this just a normal guy thing? Is any guy satisfied with the girl they're with? Or will they always want something better? Is this my fault? If I wasn't insecure, would these comments be OK?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): This guy sounds like a jerk! Like my boyfriend he has no respect for you! And if he says he loves you the way you are hen the sniidy comments would not happen! Do it back and see how he feels i am sure he will not like it!
A
female
reader, MizzV  +, writes (3 December 2009):
 Sweetie,none of this is your fault. I think that your boyfriend needs to realize that it's disrespectful to you when he makes remarks about other girls' butts, etc. If your boyfriend really appreciated you, he wouldn't hurt you the way he's doing so now. If I were you, I would ask myself if it was worth it to wake up every morning thinking that I am not good enough for this guy. Or, you could actually do something about it, and lay it out to him; either he learns to accept you for who you are and what you look like, or you need to leave him. No one can take away the respect and appreciation you have for yourself. Walk away now if you think he won't change. Let him know he is missing out on a really good girl and don't shed tears for a guy who doesn't know how to appreciate you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): first of all whoever your dating is a pretty messed up guy and you shouldn't have to deal with that. if he constantly puts you down like your not good enough then you should either take control and stop letting those comments slide or break up with him. my suggestion is breaking up because chances are since you talked to him about how you feel he won't stop anyway. you deserve better then someone who puts you down =)
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A
female
reader, KANDIWRPR +, writes (2 December 2009):
 leave him y would you let him put you down?of course there are guys who want to be with their girlfriends for who they are no matter how the look isdont let him discourage you have confidenceits only been 6 monthsif i was you leave him now and forget him move on trust me!ive been where you are atand i ended up being an abusive person but that guy ended up also hitting me
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): he sounds like a jerk sorry but he does, if he wants a butt different to yours or abs or anything else then let him go and try and find miss perfect, there are boys out there who will love you just as you are and wouldnt even say those things to you. let him go, get back your self esteem and when he comes chasing after you tell him where to go.
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A
female
reader, jeanette_luvsyou +, writes (1 December 2009):
oh my god grl brak up with him! it is totally not your fault you dont have to please him in EVERYTHING. i know this sounds mean to like brak up with him but u guys have only been dateing for 6 months so it wont be that hard. guys are only satisfied wen the have found "the one". PLEASE dont let him out you down like that no one needs that ok..hope this helps
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A
female
reader, MsFrankie +, writes (1 December 2009):
 I'd get rid of him then get myself down the gym when he was out of my life - that'd show the ****! Actually... I did do this to my ex boyfriend. Revenge is sweet. He sounds like a knob... if you don't mind me saying so.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): You want to be the best in his eyes, and that makes you stay with him. But you have to dump his ass because he doesn't treat you well. What kind of treatment do you deserve? I hope you move your standard up.In his mind he may not be settling, otherwise he wouldn't say that he loves you. He would find someone else.
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A
female
reader, Lillydoll90 +, writes (1 December 2009):
Nope noone will ever be satisfied with some like that. I dated a guy like that I ended up with sleep problems and terrible bags and dark circles under my eyes. We broke up 3 months ago and I still can't sleep. So he put me and depression made me feel terrible about my apperance. And Then started yelling at me about how I need to sleep. Like If it was that easy I can't stop thinking about problems..Date someone who makes you feel good. Don't stay any longer. The longer you stay the more attached you are to him and the harder it is to leave.you don't want to end up like me trust me
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A
male
reader, justtesting  +, writes (1 December 2009):
Sometimes, oftentimes, familiarity breeds contempt. Specially in a relationship!
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