A
female
age
30-35,
*ovesagiftkeepitsafe
writes:Me and my ex have been really close since we have split up and we see each other a lot more than what we did when we was going out and get on a lot better too. I have a new boyfriend that i hardly see as he lives so far away but we get on and when we do see each other its really spechial. The other week my ex asked me back out, i havnt told him about my new bf as it hasnt really got any thing to do with him plus neither of us likes to hear about the new partners. I found my self wanting to say yes to him as we are so close now but I dont want to hurt my new bfs feelings and i still care greatly about him. me n my new bf has been only going out for a few months and me n my ex went out for four years. I have asked for a break with my current boyfriend and also not talking to my ex as i want to sort this my self, but im really unsure what to do, will my ex change if i go back out with him or will we be the same as we are then. I really do care about this new bf and thats another reasion why its so hard to decided. please help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RichTea +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Your best idea is to do what you are doing and try and sort this out yourself. The chances are that your ex is acting like this because he wants you back and wants to show you that he has changed and can be a both a good friend and a good boyfriend.
As for your boyfriend, having a 'break' isnt the best idea cuz its basically giving eachother permission to get with other people but still get back together after the 'break' is over
You need to spend some time with your friends and see what they think. Friends are always good people to go to for advice as they know you properly and know how you act around people.
Why dont you split up officially with your boyfriend, tell him that your really confused about how you feel, and stay single for a while. Dont get back with your ex straight away cuz by the sounds of it you really do need time to sort your head out.
Do what feels right and I can promise you that deep down in your heart you know what you want to do. Try and find that answer.
x
A
male
reader, justtesting  +, writes (1 December 2009):
Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. And it will always be!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): I think it depends on how long you were going out with your ex. If you were going out a while and things now seem better, you may be better off with him. Don't make his life too easy! Your new bf is on a long distance relationship and been with you for less time. I'd say he had a good chance of getting over it if you are honest and break it off.
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