A
female
age
36-40,
*lacklily
writes:My boyfriend loves me but he still loves his psycho ex! I don't know how to get rid of her. What should I do? My boyfriend doesn't want to give up one of us, he doesn't even want me to give up on him but how can I get him give up his ex?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009): Your boyfriend can't get over his psycho ex? Trust me, she is there because he wants her there, and you see for yourself that he can't get over her.
You are in an imaginary relationship, if you still like him then stop pressuring him, act as if you don't care, back off big time and immediately start dating other people and tell him so.....tell him that you are not interested in sharing him, but that you can see he isn't serious about you and you want to date others...end of subject.
If he cares at all he will end it with her and try to win you back....but ask yourself, do you really want a guy who wants to play the field?
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 Make him decided ask if he wants you or her if he says both, then get rid of him relationships are generally for 2 people not 3 you deserve better then a guy who is definetly having his cake and eating it
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 As Griffo has said, he's in his comfort zone and is currently having his cake and eating it.
I suggest that you give him a shake up by saying that you are going to break from him for a while so that he can make his mind up. I think this is a good idea because
it will make him miss you and realise what is at stake if he loses you. As the phrase goes " Treat em mean, keep em keen." Obviously don't treat him too badly! But for example, if he texts you, take a while to reply and act like you're not too concerned about being away from him. However, whilst you are telling him that you're having a break from him for a while, don't let him wind you round his little finger and somehow make you stay. Don't give him that control and stick to your guns.
Good luck and take care xx
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A
male
reader, Ed1337 +, writes (14 January 2009):
 I've just got out the same situation, in the end I decided to end it with her. He really needs to get over her if your going to have any future together, otherwise she's just going to keep showing her face.
I think it might be wise to remain just friends until he can decide who he wants to be with. Do you really want to date someone who might be texting some other female and telling her how much he likes her as well? I know its going to be hard, but he clearly has issues and your probably going to get hurt if you put up with this. Life is too short to put up with crap from other people and its a shame people don't close doors before they open new ones.
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 Hi blacklily,
This is one of those cases where it's you or her. He's still in a massive comfort zone with her and only time and distance will break this, but if they are communication then this is very unfair on you. If so you deserve much better!
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A
male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 You cant make him do anything. The only thing for you to do is tell him that you care for him, but until he can get past his ex you are gonna take a break from him. But you are not gonna wait forever. It's either that or keep going like you are and probably get your heart broken. He needs closure from her, and you cant help him with that.
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