A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can any ladies help me get over this problem.My boyfriend looks at other women, and it makes me feel insecure and jealous.I feel that he prefers them to me. I watched him looking at women for example we were sitting at red light traffic, a lady was crossing on his side right, he followed her with his eyes till she came to passenger side which was me and she disappeared.Once in hospital after my operation there were 4 women in the room including me. there were two ladies older than me and one younger than me. He kept looking at her and later he asked me where was she from and how old was she, he thought she was 20 years old but she was 39 and he kept telling me no she is 20. we are both 40 years old.I could not understand why he was so interested in her. I told him to go to her and exchange phone numbers with her.Once I confronted him about a girl and he said he was looking at her because she looked like a tart and he was happy to be with me who is classy.two days later at the bus stop waiting for bus he was looking at 2 young women in their 20 and he was smiling at them and they smiled back. I told him to go and sit next to them and leave me alone but he told me that I was mental.He says there is nothing wrong with him and it is me who is overly jealous, insecure and afraid of competitions.He says he is an observant person and sees things and women are beautiful. when I said I am going to look at men he said there is no good looking man to look at.He looks at every women, in restaurants he looks at women behind me and not me. I do not enjoy going to restaurants with him as I feel that I am not an interesting person and he may be bored and stare at other women. I have noticed other men with their women look at me. So maybe this is men natural behaviour.He looks at women everywhere, park, shops. even the shop assistant told him oh you are very patient with her doing shopping and she trying many things but your motive is looking at women. I told him even shop assistant noticed his ogling he said there were no women in the shop to look at but I told him perhaps he was looking at her otherwise why would she say that??I do not like feeling the way I do. Do I need help to overcome my jealousy????I look younger than my age, people think I am 35 years old, I am petite 5'1" size 8. I have been told that I am very attractive, sexy. When I go to the gym young men ask me out. so I am not bad looking myself, but I feel very low, ugly and less these women that he looks at. I am so bad that when I am out by myself if I see a girl that is very attract, sexy I would think if my boyfriend was with me he would look at her. I feel like ending it with him and stay single. the other day, he kept saying he does not look at women and it is all in my head, when we were in the shops, I was trying clothes and watched him looking at every women, I went up to him and told him "oh, yes you do not look at women, he shouted "do you want me to look at the floor, I observe people, I see people"I did not talk to him and told him that I needed some time on my own, and now I am contemplating ending it with him for my sake and his, perhaps I am the problem and I should be on my own, reading articles I see that all men look at other women while out with their women.Is there any help for me, or should he be considerate of my feelings???
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female
reader, SillyB  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 Well my dear, the oogling is BAD, but the fact that he is on a dating website, went and saw another woman for dinner and might be potentially having sex with other women is sufficient justification to end it, no???I think you've answered your own question.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): I have spoken to him many times regarding this matter.No, I do not trust him, it has been proven to me that he has been dating other women while in relationship with me.He does not know that I know of his indiscretions, whether he has gone to bed with them or not, I do not know.A friend of mine whom he has not met contacted him and he arranged to meet and he met up with her. He was on dating site. My friend met up with him, had dinner with him but when he asked to see her again, she told him that she will contact him but never did.If it was offered to him, he would not say "no".
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A
female
reader, needadvice86 +, writes (29 March 2011):
Ask your self these questions:Do you trust him? Has he ever given you any reason not to?Are you a jealous person by nature, have you been jealous in past relationships?Are you confident?No matter your answers, the key to accepting other's beauty is accepting your own. You are beautiful and you need to tell yourself this. Lacking confidence is where insecurity comes from. However, it sounds like your man is going overboard. It is very unrealistic to think he is not going to look at other women(and the same goes for women looking at other men). It is a healthy normal part of life. But, if he is always doing it when you are together, to the point of other people noticing...then this isn't a good situation.Basically he is making you feel bad about yourself and you shouldn't. No significant other should make you feel this way. If you address is one more time and say listen, " I am trying to be level headed here and realistic, but you go above and beyond to really check out other women, it doesn't make me feel good about myself." If he can't try and understand your feelings then maybe he isn't the right one for you. I don't think it should be hard for him to understand that you are a catch and wise up...but if for some reason he can't then you need to know that there is someone else out there. Don't waste your time with a jerk.
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