A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi, My boyfriend and i have a really healthy, enjoyable sex life. However, my boyfriend likes me to go on top a lot - which i dont mind at all, I am however absolutely useless in this position! I have recently become sexually active for the first time and i find that it can sometimes still be painful. I find going on top even more painful - my boyfriend understands this and is supportive, however i do really want to please him. Also, im finding it hard to get the rhythm right in this position - he keeps slipping out and i keep missing him e.t.c. - hes not particulary small so i dont see what the problem is. This is rather a trivial question, however i really could use some advice on techniques etc. Thanks.
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male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 I am so sorry, I forgot to add in the link and didn't realize it till now. Here it is. Doc.
http://www.sex-techniques-and-positions.com/
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): just push ur bum out and nearly lie on his chest! then slowly move bck and forth b4 picking up pace! jst get use 2 it 1st!
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (16 February 2007):
In some cases it is simply a lack of foreplay which means that there could be a lack of lubrication. In that case it could be just a matter of using some type of personal lubricant. If you try this, however, do not use a petrolium based lubricant as this can cause other problems. There are several water soluable personal lubricants available.
If this does not solve your problem then it could be something a bit more serious like a condition called vaginismus where the muscles around the opening of the vagina tighten, even closing the the vagina making intercourse painful if not impossible. There is also a condition called dyspareunia which is pretty much a generic term for painful intercourse.
In any case, if additional lubrication does not take care of the problem I would strongly recommend getting in to see your gynocologist.
I am also adding a link to a website that is a guide to sexual positions. You and he may like to explore some other positions which may be less painful for you and may be just as excition to him. The site is quite graphic so if you are offended by those sort of things I would not go there. It does clinically explore human sexuality though.
I hope this helps. Doc.
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A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene +, writes (15 February 2007):
 Don't worry, this happened to me too the first month or two of being sexually active. Being on top, his penis can penetrate you farther, so this is probably your source of pain. It will probably fade as time goes on. Also, it takes a few tries to get the knack of being on top. Don't pull off of him so much that his head comes out of your vagina, just a little in-and-out motion is adequate. Also, don't rush and be super-duper energetic like in the pornos...At least not until you can master the act of being on top without him coming out of you. Introduce new positions, like him entering your vagina from behind, to see if he'll prefer that better. It's much less painful. Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, kath +, writes (15 February 2007):
 male layin on his back female stands with feet either side of his hips bring your bottie down male enters and female moves up and down you dont need to do all the work, he can move if you hover,rhythm you will grasp in time and I dont belive that you partner would be asking if he didnt injoy it, also if you put your knees on the bed/floor?? you change the way you move as in back and forth. In this position you will have the full lenth of his penus inside you. good luck Kath xx
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