A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm having big trust issues with my boyfriend right now. We've been together for about a year and a half. The problems all started about a year ago. I found some "questionable" pornographic pictures saved on his computer, which I promptly confronted him about. We talked it all out, and he made a big production of deleting it all. Just a few days later, I found the pictures on a CD that he tried to hide from me. Once again, I confronted him, and this time he admitted that he had a problem, but swore to me that it was over. All was fine until about 2 months ago, when once again, I found even more pictures saved onto a hidden CD. I told him I was leaving him, and in order to get me to give him one more chance, he agreed to let me set the password on our computer so that he can't turn it on without me being there. But although I know he's not looking at pictures anymore, I'm having problems trusting him now. All I can think about is what else he might be lying to me about. The thing is, the porn wouldn't have been such a big issue in the first place if he hadn't lied about it all. I just can't get over the fact that he lied to me, even about something so stupid. What do I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): having porn is healthy, most guys have it... I have approximately 2000 dvds and videos and my gf just sees it as a hobby.chill out! It's better than him cheating on you!
A
female
reader, kellyjomo  +, writes (8 August 2007):
I'm in a very similar situation to you, I've been with my bf for three years and this has been an ongoing problem throughout, it totally makes me feel inadequate and my body issues are terible right now. My bf also went to a lap dancing club a couple of weeks ago for a friends stag do and he had a private dance!! I'm so down at the moment coz of it and because he has lied about his porn I feel that I really can't trust him with anything. It's a horrible situation to be in and I feel that men should have more respect for their partners. I wouldn't do anything that he really dislikes or doesn't want me to do so I'm really hurt that he does this.
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A
female
reader, Fcukmen  +, writes (7 August 2007):
I don't know what to say, besides the fact that we are living the same life.
I met my current boyfriend about 2 years ago. We hit it off and things we're going fine UNTIL I found PORN on his computer. He said it was from university (which by the way he graduated 5 years ago). I let it go. Then over a YEAR later I found more porn sites on his internet. He actually would DELETE porn sites but I looked in his "cookies" just because i felt some thing wasn't right. Porn doesnt bother me. It's the fact that he lied about such a small issue. What else could he be lying about. NOW I don't trust him, don't know what to do in the present becuase I wanted to marry him but now I am second guessing our future.
SOME ONE, ANYONE, Please let me know what you think I should do. Do you think he would be cheating on me? OUR sex life is magical, that is why I don't understand why he resorts to PORN and hiding it from me.
Sincerely stressed out,
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (1 August 2007):
You got some good advice from Hellen Help! And it's right on. My first marriage of 38, years was a sexual dud, as we both were sexually ignorant, guess that was the reason that it lasted all those years. The ups and downs, my failed erections to be quite blunt, made for a very poor togetherness, sexually speaking. So like lots of men, good old Fistcity, "Masturbation" was the easy way out. I had my sexual needs met without having to worry about my ego being bruised. Come to think of it, I never did see her engage in self-stimulating. So by me not fulfilling her sexual need it must of been Hell for her. You and your Bf can grow in your sexuality if you both view Porno as a sexual-learning-tool, But be sure to read the other "How To Be Better Lover's" info. on the Web-Sites. You are the one who is getting his Sexual-Arousal-Fallout now that can't be all that bad,wouldn't you say?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007): My advice dont trust him! he is oviously a man with little respect for women and he either is not edcated enough to understand about the implications for women and gender inequality or he simply doesnt care and puts his own orgasm above the fact that porn is degrading to women (just notice the way in which men are portaryed in porn as opposed to women) and hurts you...who would want to be with a guy like that??? God help helen who thinks porn will teach you something new...if she needs porn to learn about sex then I feel really sorry for her...PORN is not sex and women should have more self respect than to encourage it by watching it with men. shame on you helen...go get educated may I suggest psychology 101 or gender inequality and how porn is eroticed violence against women.
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A
female
reader, Helen Help! :) +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Hey huni ever thought he was embarresed to tell you he had porn in the 1st place? its something he enjoyed but didnt want u to know about in case u thought he was pathetic or something? so after he got rid of it all he decided to get some back ts obviously something he enjoys and he obviously doesnt want to lose u over it because hes let u set the password for the comp. u should enjoy it with him watch some togeather its a total turn on and ya might learn something new ;) n its not so much he lied he jus didnt tell u something n i suppose tht was due to embarresment. Stop beng paranoid u have no reason to not trust him over a silly thing like porn :) take care
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