Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chipmunk37  +, writes (16 October 2015):
 Before you decide if you want to dump him or not...and you have to decide for yourself not us...ask yourself one question. Would he still regret it and have come clean about the cheating and the pregnancy if you had not found out or would he have kept carrying on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2013): No do not get back together with him. You have seen his true colors. This is what he truly is. He is a liar so why would you believe him when he says he loves you?
He has a kid with the other woman. Therefore even if you were foolish enough to stay with him she will always be in the picture because she is the mother of his child. This will never be a real relationship it will always be a triangle. He may involve other women too. If he is a good father then you will always be second and his kid with her will always be first. That is a pretty bad relationship (which is why my rule of thumb is never get involved with a man who already has kids.)
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 November 2013):
 Don't take him back. He knew what he was doing from the beginning and where it would likely lead. What if he'd caught a disease instead of fathering a child? Some of them have no obvious symptoms and you'd have gone untreated all this time.
Certainly forgive him, if only for your own spiritual and mental health, but don't console him. Don't minimize what he did. Don't accept any excuses. Don't make a huge scene. Don't involve others and definitely do NOT take him back.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (20 November 2013):
 Let me help you adjust the content of your submittal. To wit:
Instead of asking, "...Should I dump my boyfriend he has fathered a child with another woman and lied and deceived me for nearly a year...."..... you SHOULD be asking: "....HOW QUICKLY should I dump my boyfriend he has fathered a child with another woman and lied and deceived me for nearly a year..."
Does that help clarify things for you????
Good luck...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 November 2013):
 He has no remorse that he did what he did... his remorse is that he got caught.
will you ever trust him again? I would not.
If you can't trust him there is no relationship....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): You should BOTH dump him, immediately. Why on earth would you stay with a man who has cheated on everyone in his life? He's not going to all of a sudden change and become some honest man who won't stray ever again. He's been deceiving everyone for who knows how long. What he needs is a good does of consequence for his repeated actions. If women keep "forgiving" him and letting him get away with it, he will learn nothing except that if he whines and shows fake remorse long enough, someone will cave and believe him. Do you really think that low of yourself to allow this man to be in your life anymore? You deserve someone in your life far better than that guy. Move on ...
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (20 November 2013):
I keep burning my hand every time I touch the hot stove. Should I keep doing it? Please help me.....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): Thank you all for your ans I am in pain eveyday I knew he had a choice and he made it .I know what is right I have to leave him. He pays for his daughter and says he hates the mum but he obviously did at one time. It is true he only told me as he got caught. The other girl knew him from his past and told me he was a player when I went to see her she also told me to move on. What also hurt s me is he took her to his friends party at xmas to show her off as she is a ex glamour model He has to go thank you all once again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): Forgive him. Then kick his player ass to the curb.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 November 2013):
 He doesn't wish it had never happened, he wishes he hadn't got caught.
How can you trust ANYTHING coming out of his mouth?
For nearly a year he played you both. The result.. a child.
Personally, I would walk now, before YOU have a child with him to or he has another child with some other chick.
Too much mess, too much drama.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 November 2013):
He may love you but he made the decision, over and over, to do something he knew would hurt you. It wasn't an accident, he made a choice. Besides, he could have dumped the other girl- he didn't want to because he cared about her too. Do you think she'll just disappear? Do you think his desire for other women will just disappear? Do you think his selfishness will disappear?
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female
reader, Brokenv +, writes (20 November 2013):
WoW!!! WOW!!!! This is crazy. You are seriously thinking of being with this guy when he lied about your whole relationship? You are one of a kind! I think you are truly special!
Is he planning on being a father to this child? Is he going to take the role of a loving caring supportive father?
I could not stay. I would beyond hurt in this situation. You have to make a decision that you are going to be happy with and get up the next morning and say I'm ok with yesterday and I need to move forward.
I wish you a world of luck with this decision.
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A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (20 November 2013):
If he says he loves you then why cheat?He's been having his cake and eating it.Dump him.He will have a child to look after now.
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