A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over 11 months. last week he went out with his friends, got completely drunk and kissed another girl. I found out that night as he told me himself. he seemed really upset then (obviously i was devastated) the thing is I dont know whether I should give him another chance as since we have been together he has always let me down in different ways and it always happens when he is drunk (ie verbally abusive on 2 occasions which i forgave, leaving me in tears on many occasions). i have been thinking about this over the last few days but still dont know what to do.i dont feel angry which i dont understand but i am completely destroyed by this.. this is very important to me as now at the minute he only lives about 10 mins in a car from me but next year he will be moving to Edinburgh for university and i will be in a placement somewhere in ireland. im just scared that if i take him back i may get hurt again as experiences of seeing people in my family hurt by this type of problems makes me feel uneasy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): my boyfriend has done the same thing. he went out with his mate on the weekend got drunk and ended up kissing a girl in the back seat of his mates car. he only knew her for 5 mins before kissing her. he says it didn't mean anything but i can't get the image out of my head. he told me straight after it happened and keeps apologising. i thought he was the one for me but now i'm unsure. what should i do?
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (16 February 2010):
 First of all I'm going to be the one everyone disagrees with but that was not cheating. A kiss is a kiss and I think that it can be just that. It's like saying you can't flirt when your in a relationship, it just happens since it is the easiest thing to do with someone. I been with my gf for about nine months and I said to her that if there is ever a guy that she would want to kiss because of wanting to know what it would be like I wouldn't be hurt at all.
Him telling you right away was a big thing. If it had happened because he was losing interest in you then he would have said nothing.
Everyone makes mistakes and I never want to see anyone hung up for something that they probably didn't even realize that it happened. If I was ever in that situation which you can't say that you will never be then I would want to be treated with the same forgiveness that I give the rest of the world.
Now if it always happens then he has had his fair share of chances and your better of without him but don't let him become a template for what you think of all guys. I have seen this happen too many times.
Sorry about this being so long, I have alot of feeling on this subject so message me if I missed anything.
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