A
female
age
26-29,
*caredForLove
writes:Hi there. Okay I'm having a serious problem now with my boyfriend "Jim". Everything was going fine until just three days ago. One of my best friends got all mad at me because I was TRYING to comfort her after the guy she really liked rejected her. And because I said maybe he thought you were mean. (Cuz she kinda is) Anyway, then she started posting crap on facebook, which I didn't find out till the next day from someone else. If she would've just called me a bitch and moved on it wouldve been fine. But she put on this other girls wall that hates me, that I used to be best friends with, "I'm not friends with the girl who obsesses over you anymore, we should hang sometime." This was embarrasing. Extremely. So I started crying and then one of my other friends talked to him later because evidently he didn't know yet. Then he got on facebook and saw the other ten posts about me. Okay this is where the problems start: He knew I was upset about this because my friend told him I was crying and he saw me crying AGAIN that day and didn't try to comfort me at all. Secondly: he didn't try to talk to me at all the next three days. (Even though maybe he thought I didn't want to talk to him because like I said I was embarrassed he saw those posts.) Today I talked to him finally and he disnt ask how i was or didnt seem concerned at all. Even though people were talking about it since it happened. So..is this a sign ?Thanks 3
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (3 December 2011):
 Facebook drama, lovely. You know deleting FB solves a ton of problems? Then again if you deleted you wouldn't have known your "friend" was an ungrateful witch.
MAYBE, he broke up with you because you were being too emotional for him to handle. Or maybe there's other reasons he dumped you. I think it's for something else.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): some possible interpretations of his behavior:
1. he feels awkward and doesn't want you crying on him. most guys dont' want to have a crying female on their hands because usually the woman is inconsolable anyway. So he's trying to act nonchalant, i.e. don't feed the fire. Just act like it's no big deal, and it won't become a big deal.
2. he doesn't want to get involved in your drama. He feels this is your problem to deal with on your own and not drag him into it by making it into his problem too.
3. He doesn't think it's a big deal at all and thinks you shouldn't be feeling upset or he can't possibly imagine how you could be upset.
4. if you tend to cry a lot or cry easily, he may be numb to your crying and just think "here we go again"
5. he's just very socially inept and doesn't know how to respond to this situation. Maybe he thinks that if you want him to comfort you, you will go to him. And if you don't, then it means you're doing fine on your own and don't want him involved.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (3 December 2011):
 well, first, the girl: let's be honest here: that girl is doing you a favor. she's negative energy, you said she's mean, and she's trying to associate with like-minded people (ie lackeys and jerks). she didn't like you because you thought for yourself instead of telling her what she wanted to hear.
I think for your guy, I honestly think he's ignorant of how much you've been affected, even with your crying. I think it's just a gender thing. dudes rarely if t ever have these huge fallouts with other dudes, and when they do it really never seems to impact their worlds as devastatingly as it does ours, but our friends are our lives at this age, and I think you should just tell him you need a little additional emotional support because you've just lost someone very important to you. he doesn't have to bash her, and he isn't obligated to hear every little detail of the saga and pain you're experiencing, but he SHOULD be aware that you are unhappy, and be there to support you through this time. if he doesn't step up or try to step up, then he's not really that invested in you and you should consider moving on. start reflecting on what kinds of people you want to have in your life, positive influences, supportive people, people that make you happy and feel comfortable being you and you should recover from this okay.
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A
female
reader, ScaredForLove +, writes (3 December 2011):
ScaredForLove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNever mind he um..he dumped me via text.. But thanks for the ..help.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 December 2011):
 This is a hard one, maybe he felt awkward about this situation and didn't want to say anything about it. Well at the end of the day girls fall out all of the time, and I guess he just didn't want to get involved because it was between you and your friend. Talk to him about it if it is annoying you and ask him does he feel you done something wrong. Tell him you feel like he is not there for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): Most guys avoid female drama as much as they can.
I don't think it's because he doesn't care that you're hurt, I think he's just avoiding a bunch of female drama.
If you WANT to talk to him about it, bring it up and tell him how you felt/feel--but, trust me, he's never gonna bring it up.
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A
female
reader, vanillafrost  +, writes (3 December 2011):
 Hi dear,
I don't think you should worry too much about it. Things like this happen and it's immature behavior.
Your friend doesn't know how to value a REAL friend who has the courage to tell he the truth. It's her loss.
Be the better person and don't let this affect you in any way.
There is no reason to feel embarrased.
Good luck!
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