A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf is very sexually aggressive and likes to dominate and humiliate me sexually and that's okay with me. The thing that bothers me though is that he only ejaculates if I stimulate him orally for over 30 minutes or if we do anal. Why that? He is unable to orgasm vaginally. Is there something wrong with me?
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ejaculate, orgasm, vagina Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): He is too used to his own hand, that's why.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 November 2013):
 It's NOT you... how much porn does he watch? how often does he masturbate?
sounds like he's a porn kind of guy and if he's used to pleasuring himself, then "normal" vanilla sex is not going to do it for him.
we had an issue such as this when we first started dating... we put a moratorium on self-pleasuring for about 2 weeks and when we saw each other.. it was incredible the next time.
Perhaps you could discuss with him that you both take a break from any porn or masturbation for a period of time between visits and see how it goes.
FWIW, nothing he says takes away from the issue that this is HIS problem and NOTHING you are doing wrong.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 November 2013):
He probably just has fetishes. I bet if you were to find his porn history it'd be full of rough blow jobs and anal.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 November 2013):
 Nothing wrong with you. It sounds like he masturbates A LOT. Quite likely with porn (why he can only finish with extreme acts). There is more info on this site:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 November 2013):
Nothing wrong with you. It sounds like he masturbates A LOT. Quite likely with porn (why he can only finish with extreme acts). There is more info on this site:
http://ww.yourbrainonporn.com
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 November 2013):
 Doubt it you, sounds more like he is VERY (or rather too used) to a VERY firm hand. A vagina is not giving the same hard grip (for the most part) as a hand or the anus.
Does he jerk off a lot? Because it sounds to me that he is more "conditioned" to a hand (aka masturbation) then sex involving a woman.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 November 2013):
 I don't think you are the problem.
My guess is that your bf masturbates A LOT, but really a lot ( with or without watching porn, I don't know, but my guess is , probably with ).
He trained himself to respond only to very intense, direct stimulation. I think that no vagina can reproduce the supertight grip and superfast speed of vigorous masturbation. Well, of course ,nevetheless coitus has other advantages and charms over masturbation, so for most guys that's not going to be a problem- unless they have sort of desensitized themselves, as I suppose it happened to your bf.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2013): Hmm, it's very strange. I have no answer to that, I kowy that some men takes a very long time to come.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (4 November 2013):
 Might be lack of tightness or psychological on his end.
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